Hi again!I'm back from the sea and have some news... I told my mom that I'm gay.She said it won't change our relationship,but she was disappointed.At first she started asking me if I had a date or something,which I denied.She said that I'm maybe wrong(which I doubt) and that I should first try a relationship with a girl.I decided to go out in Friday,what will happen...I don't know.She just doesn't want me to suffer.She cried all night and my heart wanted to collapse.We will talk together with my father about it,but I think he will say the same and be more decisive.After all this I'm not sure in anything anymore,just getting more and more confused. I'm gonna go crazy before I fix all this!
Hi there! Congratulations on coming out to your mom. You have taken a major step forward. It is good that your mom has indicated that your relationship with her will not change. It sounds like that she is in denial at some level. But with time, your mom come around to it fully. Going out on a date with a girl, will not help you in getting less confused. Maybe you could talk to your mom again and tell her that going out with a girl will not change anything. Going out with a girl will not be fair on you and not on her. In fact, going out with a girl, might make you feel even more confused at this stage. If possible, try talking to your mom again. Before you talk to your dad about it, make sure that you feel ready for it. You've indicated that your dad might be even more 'defensive.' Maybe you could talk to your mom not to say anything for now and wait a bit until you feel ready for it. I'm sure she will understand. Remember to take it slow. You have taken a major step in your coming out journey. It is important that you feel comfortable and ready for all the steps (small or large) that you are going to be taking. Take your time. Don't rush into things. No worries. You will get through this. If you need to talk, maybe try talking to your friend to whom you have already come out to as well. Maybe she or he will be able to help you through it as well. Often just by talking about our worries we gain a different perspective on things. Also, you can write me a private message at any time. I will try helping you as much as I can. Hope this helps!
Sorry to hear that this didn't go very well for you. Hopefully your parents will adjust to the idea that you're gay. Don't start to doubt yourself, but at the same time you don't need to really figure out once and for all what your orientation is. If you're pretty sure, then you're probably right. But there's no hurry to make any 'hard and fast' decisions. Good luck. Hang around in here and you'll likely feel better.
I'm sure it did break your heart knowing your mom was crying all night. She's in shock and not really knowing quite what to do or say right now. Remember she's grieving. Alot of things are going through her head right now. Just keep giving her hugs and talking about it. Can you get some educational materials for her?
Hi again! When I read you post the first time, I think it must have read it a bit too fast as I realized going over Jim's and Becky's responses that I missed something. Sorry about that. It is great that you have found the courage to come out to your mom. I'm really sorry that it didn't go too well. I agree with Becky that your mom is in shock and will need time to overcome that. With time she will overcome it and will come around to it. I'm sure she will. As Becky said, keep talking to her. Reassure her that you have not changed and that you are still the same person. Also, as Becky indicated educational materials might help her in understanding it and overcoming her shock and grieve. Maybe what you could do, try contacting a GLBT or gay youth organization in one of the major cities and ask them if they could send you some material for mom to read. I'm sure they would do that for you. I'll try looking some stuff up as well. Should I find something, I'll either post it or pm it to you. As I have indicated in my first post, there is no rush in coming out to your dad. Take it slow. When you feel that you are ready for it, then come out to your dad. Everything will work out. Give it some time. We are all here to help you to get through this! You'll make it. Trust me.
Thank you all for the reply.It seems she got over it,she is all nice to me and shows her love more than usual.The real problem will be my dad,but I won't hurry with him.I think I'm not ready yet...
I bring you more news(although I know I'm boring and that I'm bugging you). I went out yesterday and I was bored as Mozart on Exit:dry: I thought it will change something but my organism just doesn't want to change!I wasn't dancing,just sitting all the time,I just didn't want to...I was looking at guys all the night and I think I became suspicious.Anyway I left earlier and felt like a total crap.It is just getting worse and I started to panic.Any help?
Hi there! No worries. You are not boring anyone and you are not bugging anyone either. EC is here to help. When you feel that you are getting to a point where you feel bad and/or panic, take a step back and try taking a deep breath. It is normal to have the feelings that you have. From your info on the side, it seems that you are still questioning your sexual identity. Your feelings can still change. There are times when we think that we have figured it all out but we find ourselves still questioning everything. This is a normal part of the processes. Try not to label yourself at this stage and see how your feelings develop. Try to take it day by day. There is no rush in defining yourself. Hope this helps!
