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I feel so much better now! (Came out to my therapist)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by IsThisAName, Mar 13, 2014.

  1. IsThisAName

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    I guess this is kind of different from most of the other stories since it doesn't involve friends or family, but it was a big deal for me so just wanted to share it! I've been seeing a therapist just to talk about some issues going on in my life right now, but I hadn't talked to her about me being bi (and in denial) yet. I've been super stressed this week over trying to figure everything out and putting too much pressure on myself about it so I decided I was gonna tell her next time I saw her.

    Soooo today, I told her and she didn't even flench or show any shock or anything and was completely accepting. I would expect as much from a therapist since it's not ethical for them to be prejudiced against patients, but I know there are some crooked therapists out there so I was grateful she reacted so well. We talked about things and she told me I should just take my time figuring myself out and not be so hard on myself, and not to feel any pressure to come out or be open about it until I feel like I'm ready. It made feel soooo much better considering I've told some friends but haven't talked to any older adults about it.

    I just wanted to share this because in the short time I've been here I've seen a few threads of people concerned over talking to therapists about their sexuality and whether they'll be judged and wanted people to see that it can go okay and if you have a good therapist, it should go okay! I know some people here aren't out to anyone, so if the option is available to you, I want people to see that seeing a therapist is a great way to talk to someone who has no involvement in your life whatsoever and is a neutral party, and is not allowed to judge you. I feel so much better having told her, so I hope this thread can help at least one person who's thinking about doing the same thing I just did. :icon_bigg
     
  2. TJ

    TJ
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    Congrats! And yes - you made this thread for a DAMN good reason. :thumbsup:

    But really, that's awesome.
    Clueing your therapist in to what could be affecting anything related to you is super beneficial because they can better analyze what you tell them.
    Great stuff!
     
  3. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    I'm so happy for you! And I hope your therapist can also help you come to terms with it.

    I had a therapist once that I came out to, and she also acted very supportive and happy for me. But I found out with time she was actually a heterosexist despite being an ally and still said disgusting, devaluing things to me. I have a new therapist now, and coming out to her wasn't the big deal to me, it was making sure she didn't have the heterocentric thinking and validated me and my experiences. She luckily did, but I generally don't have the best experiences with "allies" since I still get disgusting comments from them, so I look for validation, not so much support or tolerance.

    But I do hope your therapist is one of the good ones like my new one is and you can feel comfortable talking to her.
     
  4. IsThisAName

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    Thank you both! :slight_smile:

    I'm sorry you had that experience with your therapist though! That's awful. I could tell mine was super supportive. She told me about her cousin who's gay and how a lot of his family is prejudiced and she's really the only one he confides in. We'd also already been talking about that topic for the past few weeks because I told her about my sister coming out as pansexual, and since we were talking about that I felt like I couldn't go on just acting like I'm straight anymore. I'm hopeful that she'll help me talk through things! :grin:
     
  5. biggayguy

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    I'm glad you had a positive experience. She sounds very nice.

    I had one that equated being gay with sex offender. He did not remain my counselor long.
     
  6. lordsnow

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    Good for you!!!! I have seen therapists before throughout my childhood and they have always been helpful I'm glad you had a similar experience. I myself have also been thinking about seeing a therapist to discuss my current confusion as well.
     
  7. PatrickUK

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    It doesn't matter that it was your therapist, it's still a hurdle that you've crossed and I'm pleased it was a good experience for you. Maybe it will help you gain more confidence in yourself and your orientation.