My coming out story (still not complete)

I am sure that I knew that I was gay when i was making my confirmation in March or May 2010, and its now the 19th of march 2014, and i think i have known i was defiantly gay for about 6 years. Up until yesterday, everybody who had ever asked me was i straight i had always told them that i was, fully knowing i was lying to them. Even boys i had sexual experiences in the past i had denied to them i was gay. But yesterday, i finally came out to one of my best friends Aaron. It was really weird actually saying "I am gay". I had never said that to another person, I had said it to myself in the past. Carrying on the lie of me being gay for the past few years has been like carrying a backpack that every few weeks you add a heavy rock too. For a long time, You can carry the bag and manage, But lately it had become too heavy. The weight of the lies was crushing me. Its all i thought about, I just wanted to say "I'm gay" and stop lying. If you had said to me yesterday morning "today is the day, your going to begin the phase of coming out by telling people", I would have almost certainly said you were wrong. I could never imagine coming out, But when i seen the text from aaron saying to me that was i gay because some of my friends are gay, and i think he might have suspected a little bit, My immediate reaction was to deny it, But he said to me that he wouldn't slag me. And something told me to just finally tell him, To open up. And I did. I told him that I had known i was gay for many years and that i feared telling him because i was afraid that he wouldn't like me any more if he knew who i really was, and he said something really touching and caring to me, a side i had never seen of him before. He said "I would have thought no different of you" for being gay and that "Were friends since first year and this wont change that". The immense relief that came over me was incredible, It felt like i had released this horrible burden which i had being carrying for years. A burden that was destroying my sole. I don't think he will ever understand how much his words meant to me, I can't express how relieved i was. It surprised me that he was so understanding and that he didn't judge me for it, That he realised it wasn't a life choice i had made. It was an uncontrollable urge that i could never escape from. Though I'm not happy to be gay, I am happy to be excepted by my friend. His reaction to me being gay has encouraged me to finally tell people who I really am. So I plan to tell 2 of 3 of my closets friends within the next few weeks. The third is a complicated and boring story. He even told me i should have told him sooner. Thank you Aaron

 

Thanks, I felt that i just needed to tell someone. The lies became to much in the end. And although this is gonna be a difficult process, I am going to tell my other friends within the next few days

 

What sort of situation are you in? Does anyone know your gay? Since I first wrote this, I have came out to 2 of my closets friends