I don't even know how I came out. I just kind if did. The issue for me was never telling other people, it was accepting it myself. Neither I or anyone in my family had a problem with homosexuality, it was just something that I didn't want for myself. I wanted to have a husband and kids and have a normal, cookie cutter life that seemed like the right thing, but once I hit double digits, I knew that something wasn't right with that anymore. When everyone was getting boyfriends just for the hell of it, and I just didn't want to. While that was happening, I always found girls to be strikingly lovely and didn't notice guys that much, but at the time I kind if thought that it was normal. Then we learned about what sex was and I of course, being 10, thought it was gross. But when everyone was getting outbid that phase where they thought it was weird, I wasn't. I thought then that if I tried dating and hooking up with guys I'd come to like it. So that's what I did. I dated a few different guys during my freshman year, but none if them lasted longer than two months. I hooked up with quite a few different guys, but I could never get myself to have sex with them, and being near their penises and having them near my vagina was so painfully uncomfortable to me emotionally. Then in the middle of my messy, trying to be straight time, I fell in love. She was a girl that I had known since I was probably 11 and she was 12. There was always something about her that I was drawn to, but once I let the idea of me being gay into my head, I became infatuated with this girl. We had a fling during the winter of my freshman year for a couple of months, but we ended it because we were both in a horrible place emotionally. But during that next summer and fall, she kept sporadically coming back into my life. She was a great friend, and I loved having her companionship, but I think that we were both kind if burying feelings for each other. She was falling back into old harmful habits, and I was smoking pot and hooking up with guys to keep it down. Then about four months ago this girl and I found ourselves lying on her couch, holding hands and snuggling, stealing loving glances at each other just like old times. We talked about it for a while, but we decides to give us another shot. And since then it's been blissful. She's my best friend and the love of my life. I was still kind of figuring myself out in the beginning of the relationship, but I quickly realized that I was very much a lesbian. I felt so safe with her which I had never felt with anyone. I was comfortable being exposed with her and when she did the same. And when we made love the first time it wasn't uncomfortable or weird for me at all. It felt right. And I wanted to show her off to the world, so that's exactly what I did. And then I was out! So I guess that's how this all happened. I'm very proud to be who I am, and I would love to lend support or advice to anyone who needs it. Stay awesome, m'darlings
