Ok,my mom made it easy for me an talked to my dad. It went well and he's ok with it,but he said the same as my mom did...that this period is just a part of everyone's life.I think I'm starting to believe it and my feelings are all messed up.They said they'll take me to psychologist and that there is lots of things I should consider before I admit it to myself.I should fight it...but I think they just don't know how I feel,they've never been gay...I'm confused and I don't know anything anymore.Stupid life! :bang:
usually all parents say that when they first find out. they think your just going through a faze:rolleyes:. but give it time and they will start to accept it, they just have to get used to it.
They think they can cure it!Now I don't know how they think they'll do it,although they got my brain working...
My Dad originally kept telling himself, an myself, that it was all just a phase. Just try to re-assure them it's not. Tell them trying to 'cure' it just makes you feel like an abomination and that if you ever grow out of this so called 'phase' they'll be the first people to know.
Hi there! I'm sorry that you are going through this. I know that it must be hard for you. Your parents are in shock and denial. But with time they will come around to it. Give them the time that they need. Try continue to talk to your parents. Try to explain to your parents that homosexuality is not a disease. There is nothing that needs to be cured. Being gay is a normal. it is not something that you can change. It is an integral part of you. In fact, hiding it and trying to be someone that you are not will only confuse you even more and can cause you more emotional stress and pain down the road. Try looking up some GLBT groups in Belgrade and/or Novi Sad and ask them if they have some educational material that you could give to your parents. Maybe there is also a support group in your hometown. Maybe also ask your friend, if she/he could help you locating a support group. Maybe someone from a support group could talk to your parents. You will get through this! Hope this helps!
When I first came to the conclusion that I might be gay, I remembered something I had read that said "many people go through a gay phase". So I decided to ride it out. After about a year, I realized this phase wasn't going away anytime soon... I should remind you that you ARE 16. Sometimes you won't get answers to your questions until later on. There's nothing wrong with letting things set for awhile, and letting them sort themselves out. If asked if you're gay, you can say "I haven't quite figured it out yet." That answer is totally honest and totally true. Lex
I see I didn't wrote it well...sorry This is what they think: The problem is: 1)Too much time spending with my girl friend. 2)I never had a relationship so I can't be sure about anything Solution:Talk about sex,orgasms,go to psychologist,watch porns etc. They confused me totally...so now I think they are right.Right now I'm very emotionally unstable:eusa_doh:
I'm sorry - they think spending too much time with your female friend is making you gay? That sounds like a stretch. I've heard the argument (which I don't believe) that some people who think they're gay just haven't spent ENOUGH time around women, but never because they've spent TOO MUCH time with them. As far as "you've never had a relationship", sure, you haven't. But you know what interests you. Your parents didn't have to date someone of the opposite sex before they knew they were straight, right? They KNEW. The opposite sex turned them on, so they knew they were straight. I don't have any real problem with their advice, other than the fact that they think it'll MAKE you straight. Sure, talk about sex, go see a psychologist (as long as he's open-minded to the fact that you might be gay), and watch porn. Give it all a try. What gets you most excited? Stick with that. And again, don't feel the need to announce "Gay" or "Bisexual" or "Straight" any time soon. Just say you're working on it, and see what happens. Lex
Your parents are probably just in denial. Keep in mind, LGBT rights are a fairly new thing in most parts of the world. If they continue to persist that it's just a phase, the best way to show them it isn't is by staying jsut the way you are and keeping open about it. Even if they never understand, you want them to accept you for who you are. Right now, they're having a tough time accepting. Give them time and they should be able to. Good luck.
I'm sorry that your parents are making you doubt yourself. Like Lexington says, there's absolutely no reason why you need to label yourself, or to think too hard about it, but you should also not let your parents make you doubt yourself if you think you are gay. This is a realisation that you come to on your own, not through the help of parents who actually want you to be straight. A lot of parents say that people go through a bi or gay stage - I know that my parents have mentioned this in the past - and even if this is so, there are an awful lot of people for whom it is NOT a phase, and who are, in fact, gay. If I were you I would try and explain to them (if you ARE sure that you're gay) that you're sure that you're gay - and if you're beginning to have doubts or to believe them, then I wouldn't go to the counsellor or psychologists that they suggest, as these will probably mess with your head until you don't have any idea what's what. What you really need to do now that they've planted doubts into your mind is to get away from them a bit (as in, if you can't get them to change their minds, you might need to lay off talking about it for a bit?), and to just wait a while until you feel a lot more confident in your sexuality so that you are more able to withstand their comments. This isn't you admitting defeat or admitting that they're right or that you might not be gay or anything - rather, it's admitting that at the moment you don't have the confidence in your own sexuality to stand up to your parents when they question it. You need to build up your strength and your confidence, and this involves time, personal reflection, EC, and more time. And then, whatever the outcome of all this, you will be in a better position to convince your parents, and less likely to succomb to their demands for conversion counselling or whatever. I don't know if I make sense at all, but what I'm trying to say is that the first problem that you have is that you're not sure of yourself enough to withstand your parents' onslaughts. Your second problem, which will come once time has passed and you've become more sure and confident in yourself, is that your parents think it's just phase. Remember: you can't convince your parents that it's not a phase if a part of you still thinks that, or is vulnerable to thinking that. Work on yourself first, and then your parents. But in any case your parents may come round if you give them time, and reiterate that you're sure. I hope this helps, and good luck
