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Well that was hard... But it happened

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Kasey, Apr 10, 2014.

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  1. Kasey

    Kasey
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    Well a day ago I struggled to tell myself aloud for the first time I'm trans.

    It took me 5 solid tries after choking on my words. Then I did it. It was weird. It hurts to admit something you've thought but never really admitted to yourself.

    Today I did the same thing, but this time to my therapist. It was hard to physically say it to a person. I cannot ever imagine telling my parents or friends at this point. It took me at least a solid 5 minutes to work it out of my mouth.

    He then said "you must feel better".

    I just silently nodded. And shook. I think he could see I was kind of in shock but didn't press it any further. But at the end of the session since I didn't want to dive into it anymore considering it was I hate to use the word "traumatic" but it took a toll on me. I told him something I've never said before to anyone that they could hear. I feel liberated but still afraid to go any further right now...

    But it's official, I'm actually out now.
     
    #1 Kasey, Apr 10, 2014
  2. TJ

    TJ
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    CONGRATULATIONS!!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: w0000t! :grin:
    So glad to hear about it, and I'm sure this will open a TON of a new avenues for improving yourself through therapy!
     
    #2 TJ, Apr 10, 2014
  3. AudreyB

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    I remember when I told my therapist. I think I beat all records for coyly beating around the bush trying to get the subject even brought up. "Anything on your mind you haven't vocalized yet regarding your patient? No? You read the questionnaire I submitted when we started, right? OK. You recall anything I might have mentioned on there that you'd like to ask me about? No? You sure? Anything at all? No? Something related to personal issues I might be having besides my marital breakup? You sure you read it? The very first questionnaire related to why I was seeking therapy? Have you consulted it recently? Can you pull it up now?" And on and on.

    OMG, I was the worst. :roflmao:

    Congrats, Kase, for being so brave! (!)
     
    #3 AudreyB, Apr 10, 2014
  4. Kasey

    Kasey
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    Ha, I've been in therapy for a while... But never told my last therapist because of that "familiarity factor".

    I wish I did.

    ---------- Post added 10th Apr 2014 at 09:49 PM ----------
    I just came out with it... Not beating around the bush... But physically hard to say despite my best efforts.
     
    #4 Kasey, Apr 10, 2014
  5. Chess

    Chess Guest

    Proud of you sis. It doesn't make any difference to me if you are trans or bigender or whatever, but it seems you finally figured out what you are and that's great to hear.

    ^_^
     
    #5 Chess, Apr 10, 2014
  6. Kasey

    Kasey
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    While I present male when I have to... I def feel like a female. So that's what I identify as.
     
    #6 Kasey, Apr 10, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2014
  7. Holdingb

    Holdingb Guest

    You bring the Trail Mix and I'll bring the Lucky Charms we are totally partying later! :grin: Congratulatations! *Confetti* (!)
     
    #7 Holdingb, Apr 10, 2014
  8. mbanema

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    Congrats! That took more courage than anything I've ever done. :slight_smile:
     
    #8 mbanema, Apr 10, 2014
  9. Kasey

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    Lucky charms hurt my teeth...

    Golden Crisp maybe?

    But thank you much (*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 10th Apr 2014 at 11:42 PM ----------
    And that's what I said just yesterday. You'll get there. (*hug*)
     
    #9 Kasey, Apr 10, 2014
  10. Miss Emma

    Miss Emma Guest

    Wow Kasey! Marker now saying trans female! There's a big step! For MY part, you were right in staying something of retained male characteristics. Big Sis (:wink:) I'm so happy for you! You were a big support for me when i was figuring myself out! Rock on, we're sisters now!
     
    #10 Miss Emma, Apr 10, 2014
  11. Kasey

    Kasey
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    That isn't to say I don't still have a lot of my male tendencies and preferences. But it was just annoying me so much to not identify as how I feel. It's just better than rationalizing and bsing myself.
     
    #11 Kasey, Apr 10, 2014
  12. ThisIsTheKenneth

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    That's awesome! Long-distance high5!
     
    #12 ThisIsTheKenneth, Apr 10, 2014
  13. Kasey

    Kasey
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    :smilewave

    Up high!
     
    #13 Kasey, Apr 10, 2014
  14. Skyline

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    I can picture being in your shoes. I confessed to my counselor once, but it wasn't quite the same because I was saying that I was worried my cross dressing was somewhat destructive behavior (no longer worried about that).

    I'm excited for you though, this is such a big step! I can't contain myself! *flails arms around*
     
    #14 Skyline, Apr 11, 2014
  15. Kasey

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    I have big feet for a girl...:dry:

    I went out today presenting female and I had quite the experience. Got "miss'd" a few times. But I couldn't talk... That's a dead giveaway.
     
    #15 Kasey, Apr 11, 2014
  16. Emulator

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    Congrats! :grin: I admire your courage.
     
    #16 Emulator, Apr 11, 2014
  17. Kasey

    Kasey
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    :icon_bigg
     
    #17 Kasey, Apr 11, 2014
  18. 101DeadRoses

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    Congrats my friend! And I know what you mean, in terms of nervousness. I was shaking and flushed when I finally managed to get out "I'm bisexual" to my mom, even though I knew she didn't mind. It is a big thing when you are coming out. It was easier to come out to other people once I came out to her, because the most important person to me ever was by my side and I knew that if they didn't like it, or said something about it, they would have an angry mother to answer to. Just thinking about it makes me swell up with pride.

    Good luck coming out, and remember to cherish those who love you.
     
    #18 101DeadRoses, Apr 11, 2014
  19. Kasey

    Kasey
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    Yea I'm not sure That they would be accepting that their "son wants to be a girl".

    They do love me... but I wonder how unconditionally.
     
    #19 Kasey, Apr 11, 2014
  20. Skyline

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    Oh! Did you see that thread under gender identity and expression about voice training? A video posted in there seemed pretty useful when I first looked at it.

    Link:

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/132236-best-way-change-your-voice.html

    But yeah, it's not like it'd be a quick fix or anything. Right now my voice would totally give me away too.
     
    #20 Skyline, Apr 12, 2014
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