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Episode two of coming out as trans

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Kasey, Apr 24, 2014.

  1. Kasey

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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Recap: *imposing voice over*

    On last episode Kasey came to accept herself. She fought bravely through tears and choking back on words as she for the first time uttered aloud "I am female". And she did it again. And once more. Finally once more for good measure. It took a toll on her.

    The following week was her appointment with a therapist. She was sitting there in disguise. Trembling. She fought with all her might. She stumbled and mumbled for a solid 10 minutes as the therapist remained silent.

    "I'm transgender"

    Silence.

    I bet you feel better.

    "Sort of. I've never told anyone before".

    She left the building feeling better but lightheaded and deflated and wondering where her path would lead.

    *scene goes dark cue awesome theme song*

    A scion FRS pulls up to the umass stonewall center. Kasey in disguise steps out of the car and makes her way into the center for LGBT students (and in her case... Alumni).

    A kind face welcomes her.

    She sits down and says... I'm not sure how to do this... Even though the support director had a clue what she was going to say.

    "I'm transgender."

    I see said the counselor as they reached over to grab her hand.

    Conversation ensued about it being now or never. Kasey agreed,which is why she also resolved to come out to a longtime friend. The counselor advised Kasey on how to approach it and passed along a card. Kasey and the counselor gave a parting hug.

    The car pulls up at a local eating establishment. A female approaches Kasey and says hi. She saw that Kasey was troubled. She asked do you want to talk? "Not in here"

    The two walked down the road a bit.

    "I'm about to tell you something I've never told anyone before, you promise you will not tell or hate me later?"

    Of course. I won't even tell my husband (who if you know the backstory is also a good friend of Kasey).

    Out it comes.

    *Kasey cannot look her friend in the eyes*

    "I'm transgender."

    Silence.

    Oh... Wow.

    "Yea, I know"

    What does that mean?

    "That I've been living a lie, I'm not happy with who I am you see in front of you".

    Oh really? How long have you known?

    "I've known before we met, but it's never been more than a passing thought until now".

    *details emerge*

    The friend is trying to piece things together whether husband shows up. Awkward silence as Kasey and her friend are embracing.

    Lunch was awkward and Kasey did not eat a lot. But her friend never revealed a thing even though her hubs knew something was up.

    After the husband parted ways, Kasey and her friend went for a long walk talking about what it means. The friend didn't know, and Kasey admitted she was still figuring it out.

    You know that Massachusetts is a great place for support?

    "Yea"

    You know the only thing that wouldn't make me dislike you is if you were a murderer or something. You know, one of my husbands friends admitted he's a swinger. I was more shocked at that than what you told me.

    "Really?"

    Yea, really. I want you to be happy with yourself. You're a great person. You know you were one of the few non family we invited to the wedding?

    "I was there"

    So good, I'm honored you had the courage to tell me. I just want you happy. You have my number. Call me any time.

    I don't have many friends so I'll be happy when your back in town for the summer and you can crash at our place anytime.

    "I glad you accept me"

    Always Kasey.

    (*hug*)

    *screen goes black... Cue credits*
     
  2. CharlsOn

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    My truest Congratulations!!!!:slight_smile:
     
  3. Anonymouse7

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    Congrats on coming out! I'm glad everything went well, but how could it not with your loyal Gnerd Army behind you?
     
  4. Gates

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    This is totally you right now, Kasey.
    [​IMG]

    And I am so, so proud of and happy for you. It's gonna be OK, you know? Just breathe, collect yourself, and look in a mirror and say "I did it!" (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
     
  5. Niko

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    Yay! Congrats! I love hearing stories like this. (*hug*)
     
  6. Skyline

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    This is amazing... Everything is slowly starting to fall into place for you. I'm happy. I'm happy for you. :slight_smile:
     
  7. BookDragon

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    I'm so glad things went well!!
     
  8. Kasey

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    The future is still uncertain. I'm still kind of shaken up and unsure of things. I'm not as relieved as I like.
     
  9. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    That's totally understandable. It's a new experience; you're like a starship captain boldly going where you've never gone before. :slight_smile: You should reward yourself for your bravery.
     
  10. Kasey

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    So much to work out...
     
  11. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    When do you see your counselor again? They can probably help you come up with a plan. Don't overwhelm yourself, though, OK? Be good to yourself!! That is an order, missy!
     
  12. Kasey

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    I'm slowing the process down. I think I'll panic if I keep this up. I don't know. Hopefully Tuesday will be good guidance.
     
  13. Monika the Diva

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    Im so happy for you! Baby steps sis baby steps. Remember that it takes many small steps to climb to the top of the mountain. Now just take it nice and steady.
     
  14. Lawrence

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    I'm quite open. I'm gonna talk a bit. This is one of the few things I've been unwilling to talk about. EC is giving me more confidence about it. I've enjoyed some negative experiences pertaining to this that I don't wanna depress EC with.

    I've had some rather awkward appointments. One of the first people I came out to was my GP, I said something akin to "I have gender identity disorder. I have a male brain in a female body." Spoken like a true robot! My doctor googled it. He had no idea what I was talking about. Yeah, I tended to avoid emotions for a while... for me it was the only way to say it at first.

    When I was 17 I saw a mental health youth professional. I don't think I cried when I talked to her because I was quite vague... even agreed with her that I might simply be confused. Soon after that I saw another professional every week...I went in convinced I would NOT cry. I cried at least a little bit EVERY time I saw that guy. It became routine to cry for a while before I said anything. The first several times were the worst... didn't get much talking done. I wonder if I made up for lost time. Couldn't imagine coming out later.

    Tumblr called me a truscum... I don't know if that applies to me anymore. EC has been THIS educational. People don't all feel depression the same way. I'd say it is the same with dysphoria. It's as silly as comparing different hells*. Yes, they vary a lot, but none of them are fun.

    *Technically it would be... almost none... I'm a weird person that enjoys studying the afterlife.

    Dysphoria is an evil monster...the human mind has an incredible ability to adapt. I've read that negative situations can eventually feel positive. Ahahahaha! I can tell you that I've never fully come to terms with myself. It's always there, lurking, and ready to strike -- certain things can trigger me, so I develop methods to combat them. Sometimes it's gonna get me more down than it usually does -- that can't be helped. Sooner or later you learn to cope with it because it doesn't go anywhere.

    I just remembered that I found it extremely difficult to talk about my issues to the professionals. I even talked about the news and serial killers before I reached the topic of gender. A warm up, perhaps. It was such a scary subject to confront. Heck, it's still terrifying, I don't say I'm a trans guy to myself, I spend a lot of time around cisguys and try to convince myself that I'm one. It seriously helps when you're able to be yourself around people. Sorry for the novella. This is not easy at all. It forces people to be strong. Your friend is awesome. Here's hoping more success follows.
     
  15. Gates

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    There's no rush. (*hug*) Just do what you feel is right for you. We're rooting for you, Kasey. See, totally what I'm doing right now: (!)(!)(!):eusa_clap
    :kiss:
     
  16. Miiaaaaa

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    That's amazing! :grin:
    You go girl! :slight_smile:
     
  17. Kat 5

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    /fistpump
    Congratulations!
     
  18. Kasey

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    I am so struggling whether to tell my best friend right now or not. It feels right and it doesn't...
     
  19. Gates

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    If you are safe and it feels right, then go for it. Just be safe.
     
  20. Kasey

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    I just told him he... knew.

    He's so accepting.