Caught in the Closet.

hi hairdye, im 16 and only a couple of my closest high school mates know that im gay. I think that maybe my 13yo brother might suspect something but my 10yo bro and mum & dad really have no idea. I get teased a bit at school because im the shortest in my whole form, some of the kids in 1st year high school are my height and even taller. Ive just turned 16 but could probably pass for a 12yo. I also get called gay-boy, blonde-bimbo etc etc but have a couple of really good mates that stand up for me. Im also a hopeless fighter. Sure the couple of guys that do pick on me are my age but are twice as big (im only a skiiny little runt!!!).....
Anyway mate one day soon im going to have to make a decision and come out and tell my family and will probably have to do it soon.

 

Having just recently come out to my parents, and judging from what you've written here, I would feel pretty safe saying that your mom already knows, and if you were to tell her, it would probably do both of you some good. It would allow you to get on with your life, in some respects, and it would remove that doubt from her mind and allow her to deal with the situation properly. I say that because that is one comment my mom made to me the day after I came out, that although she knew for a long time, that me coming out made it final. It takes some doing, but I think it's definately worth it.

 

Well, you seem to have a pretty mean and gossipy computer LOL
Like others said, it would be easier to come out to your mom if she suspects something, so i guess it would make things easier, but you don't have to come out to everyone just yet, you can do it whenever you feel sure about it. It's just my opinion.
Why would you have to tell your friends if your mom knew?...just wondering.
Stories like yours make me happy that my parentas have no clue when it comes to computers :eusa_danc

 

yeah mate i think that your right. i will have to do something soon!

 

I sort of get teased a bit at school also. I was ok in primary school but now I'm in my 2nd year of high school and a couple of kids from 10th grade (which is the next form up from me) do tend to pick on me at our bus stop. One called me a faggot but I don't really care.

 

I would tell them only gay people can recognise other gay people. :icon_bigg

 

Hard but not impossible. And hopefully getting easier all the time. Look at Neil Patrick Harris and T.R. McKnight.

I'm pretty sure your mum already knows. And I really don't think it's the computer that wanted to tell her.

As for the arguments she's made against it and the stupid things she's said, well... people can be really ignorant when they don't know anything about something AND on top of that they're scared of it. Parents are people too... that should be some kind of rule that everyone has to learn (including parents!).

It's very very easy to mock or say derogatory things about people you know nothing about--that's why so many people are so intent on as many people coming out as possible: if you know people who are non-straight, you are that much more likely to realise they're people just like you and thus deserving of respect and dignity rather than scorn and derision.

 

That'd be just Knight. Not MCKnight.

Not to be picky.
But I love TR.

 

Hairdye, it really sounds like your mom knows. Just tell her and get it out in the open. Sometimes people make remarks about gays or lesbians without really thinking about it. When its one of your "own" it becomes a whole different story. Then we are faced with our own biases and prejudices and we become better human beings because of it.

 

Most of the time comments about gay people are because they cannot think of a better adjective and i find it really annoying.

There is little point denying what is already obvious to someone - my friend found out by finding files on my computer even though i go to great efforts to wipe them. I didn't find it easy to do but it would have been ilogical to try and deny a file marked gayvideo or whatever.

Wonder why so many gay people are picked on before they come out. How do they know we were gay before we came out ourselves? Maybe equal numbers of straight and gay people are picked on but i think it seems higher.

 

Believe me folks usually know.

 

Sounds like Mom knows and also sounds like Mom loves you without exception. Keep the talk light and casual. As time goes she will probably ask you... but in her own time. Do you really need to "come out" to her? Think it over. Some parents (actually ALL of them) need time to accept their gay children.
Peace and much love!

 

hey Hairdye, im guessing that your mom already knows and the only reason she makes fun of that stuff is probably because shes trying to "ungay" you (if thats a word lol), sorry if thats offensive to anyone lol. I kinda wish I was straight myself, because it seems like it would make it easier for me and I wouldnt be so obssessed over my best friend.

 

O ya, and another thing, since she mostlikely knows you are probably better off telling her eventually because you know she will still love you. I know for me, my dad is for gay marriage even though he isnt gay and my mom is i think. But even though my mom acts sometimes like shes not supportive with that sort of stuff, I know for a fact that if I told her, she would be okay with it because I get along really well with everyone in my family and especially with my mom cause we go shopping all the time.

 

Mother knows best and believe me, the excuses you used to cover up your "gay escapades" wouldn't wash for a minute.

Yes, your computer has sold you out a few times; but look at that as a kind of 'first step'.

 

I have basically the same situation. Just remember that a poet once said:
"Many things happen, seemingly destructive. It is up to us, the people to respond. Much that seems destructive can help us in it's own way."