Hi, this is just a separate thread from my blog in the family/friends/relationships subforum, which is too wordy. So far, besides all you wonderful people, I haven't yet come out to anyone in person. The last time someone implied I was gay (2011), I couldn't even spit out that "G-word". All I said was "Sorry, I'm not...", and that was that. That said, I have come out to one guy I met via CL, who I briefly saw at a laundromat (he didn't recognize me). We still haven't had a real meeting, and things might just follow through. More recently, I've been talking to some other guys on a local site, and today I took the risk of sending a message to someone I know well, who I used to see at the church I attend. He's bi and has apparently been in relationships with men and women, so I know he will be supportive. He would be the first person I've really come out to. My plans are to come out to my mom when I visit my parents sometime in July/August. I'm sure she will be understanding, but I'm worried about my dad because he's very conservative (not to mention a source of resentment and sorrow for me) and also not trustworthy. I'm not sure how things will go, but I really don't want to be partially in the closet for long. I know this will be tough because my family is from India and they are Catholic. I even feel like being a conformist and coming out via facebook on National Coming Out Day, October 11, but my plans are usually more ambitious than my actions.
So, my bi friend replied and was very supportive, and we're going to try and meet sometime next weekend.
Thanks guys! Unfortunately, things have not worked out as planned. I was supposed to meet my friend last Friday, but someone borrowed his car and he couldn't come. That was a little irritating because I left work early to meet him. We rescheduled for Saturday, but then he was helping a friend move out, and he never got back to me. He seems to be quite bad at replying to texts, so I feel like I'm in limbo. I've come out to a real person, and yet I haven't had a real discussion.
It is good to be able to talk about it Resu, but the main thing is that you have actually come out to someone you know. It's a hurdle crossed. Hopefully you will soon be able to have that chat. I really hope your parents are okay, but I can tell from your writing that there is anxiety. Trust me, that's normal and to be expected, especially if you have conservative parents. Please know that we are all here for you, when that time comes.
Thanks Linco! I'm not sure what got into me in the past few weeks, but today I just came out to a friend I've known since elementary school. We used to be best friends, and he's gay!
YAY! Congrats! (*hug*) I know that "I'm not sure what's gotten into me" feeling, but I've seriously been embracing my gayness since joining EC 3 weeks ago. Day by day, I'm slowly seeing myself as "gay". Looking in the mirror and thinking "yup, I'm gay. It's going to be okay".
Thanks! He was very supportive and honored that I confided in him. I wish I could meet him in person, but I live far away. I need to think about who I can contact nearby.
I finally got a chance to meet up with my bi friend on Sunday. I didn't think it would take almost a month, but it was worth it! I was having a lot of tension headaches related to preparing for a qualifying oral exam for my degree, but talking to him was really cathartic. I felt embarrassed because I basically spilled out much of my personal history (very much like my thread in the Family and Friends section). However, I didn't say anything about current crushes, including a mutual friend. That would be too awkward.
Talking to your friend brought you some relief which is all that matters, and it's great that you have a friend that you can confide in. (*hug*) Congratulations on coming out to your friends, and I'm glad to read that things have gone so well.
Congrats resu, that's awesome!!! :icon_mrgr Glad to hear everything went well with your friend!! And good luck with your exam!
Thank you for your support! In the past two days, I came out to two more friends. One was a girl originally from China who went to the same middle school and high school. She was the top student in our class and went to U Penn, which I admire since I deeply regret not trying to apply to "top" schools. We were quite close as friends, and she was very supportive of me. She was totally practical, asking if I was dating and suggesting I move to a big city after graduation. The second person was another girl who I knew from high school. She was very brave to come out as bisexual even though her family are conservative Christians. Talking with her has been great since it's hard to explain to people who didn't grow up in a religious family how hard it is to even accept your sexuality, let alone come out.
