I told my dad that I'm into boys and I don't like girls and he said I was just confused, that there's nothing wrong with being gay, but with time and with experience I'll get to know the truth (which I still know, that is particularly frustrating, because I don't have to kiss a girl to prove that I don't like her). I told my mom I was gay two month agos and she didn't react in a negative way, she was just surprised and she told me ''if you are happy like, just try not to tell your mates about this, unless you want to be made fun of''. Since then, we have never talked about it. I don't what she thinks I'm supposed to do. I can't do anything, If I were more vocal about my sexuality it would be a problem. She accepts it as long as I hide it and I don't flash it. I remember her making funny jokes about gays, I don't know if she's homophobe but it's a problem for sure to be openly gay in her family. When I told my sister, it was quite an upsetting moment. She was driving the car when I finally told her ''I am gay'', she asked me wheter I was joking, I said ''it's the truth''. She didn't know what to say at first, then she said it was ok to be yourself as long as you don't do anything wrong. We haven't talked about it for two weeks. I don't know if she still remembers it. basically, I have come out to my family, but I can't do anything to talk about it, It's like I have never come out, because I can't talk about my sexuality, and I can't talk about my future, I can't talk about a boyfriend. I can't do anything, I feel like I'm in a prison.
I'm in that boat, sorta, too, OP. :/ I sent an email to my mom trying to come out...asked if we could discuss it later after she'd read & had some time to think, and...nothing. Now I don't know how to bring it up again. I feel like all the terror I went through in sending that 1st email meant nothing. I don't really know if I'm "out" to her or not. Part of me wants to tell you AND I that: you know what? Your act of courage and risk is not negated by the reactions (or lack thereof) of others. And that once you've said your peace, you're out. If we always let whether or not someone else acknowledges our coming out be the decider of whether we are truly "out" or not, we're giving them the power and setting it up to drive ourselves insane. Because some people will be in denial about us our whole lives. And we can't go about living our lives feeling desperate for their validation, and in despair, because of their problem. Now...if I can only listen to my own words. :/
It's not easy because I would like to have a boyfriend. I guess it wouldn't be easy any case, even if I were older.
