Well about a month ago before I went to Singapore with my family, I confessed to my best friend via text that I'm gay. In a different case tho. this is our conversation Me: Hey, can you do me a favor? My friend: Sure. Whatsit? Me: I have a secret of mine that no one else knows. I mean NO ONE. And I feel like saying it to someone else. Can you keep a secret? My friend: Sure. Come on, if it's a problem, we'll pray to God Me: Thanks. Coz the thing is... My friend: ? Me: "I was once gay" My friend: Oh. its okay, at least you've overcome it We're both christians and saying to him that "I was once gay" kinda make me puke. Coz I'm confused if I'm not gay anymore. I like boys, really. I just like God more. Tho some believe that being gay is not a sin. But my point is, There are times that I can't control my gay feelings you know, even after I confessed that "I was once gay". Yesterday was our enrollment, admitting to him that "I was once gay" is not a problem, but the proceeding texts that day I've confessed were: Me: But you know... I kinda like you... My friend: Huh? Me: Your hot dude. Yesterday was the most awkward day of my life. I didn't know what to say to him when we met. Tho he said it was fine to him. The thing is, I said to him that "I was once gay" but idk really if I'm still gay or not. I even said I was adventurous. I said I do cock sounding and ass finger fucking. And he was confused what was cock sounding so I explained to him and he was like 0_0 Monday is our first day of class. Im kinda nervous meeting him. My stomach aches when I think "Why the heck did I even tell him I'm adventurous?!" And you know what, this conversation kills me to death Me: do you know what a bj is? My friend: No. Me: It stands for blowjob My friend: what's that? enlighten me Me: You are such a christian. okay, blowjob means sucking one's dick My friend: You have done it? Me: Nooooo! To whom should I do it to? Unless... you want me to do it to you... I pray to Daddy God that He makes me strong
I congratulate you for telling him, I really do, but you shouldn't have used the words "once was". I'm not trying to be mean, because I'm also a Christian and I still have the believe that being gay is a sin, although I don't know why, but I think you should have been honest to yourself. I mean, you said you think he's hot, you are adventurous and from what it seems you want to do bjs to him. All of those things you said make you gay, unless you like women, which you didn't mention. My best advice for you is too forget about gay and sin. Just like you I love God more than anything, but people do soooo much worst things than I do and they still receive forgiveness. I say, just live your life honestly, honest with you and honest with God, He knows your heart and He knows that you can't help some things from happening, like your attraction, so just be honest. I did this. If being gay is something God intended for me to be, then I shall obey, if not, then He'll do what needs to be done because by my own power I can't change my attractions, and I'm not focusing on the sexual part but more on the emotional and romantic part of my orientation. I hope you get to find a middle for all this, good job either way for taking the step. I'm sure that God is beside you on all this, but never belittle yourself because of your orientation because you are still loved by God. (*hug*)
