Gulp. Today I jumped into a pit of sharks, and now I am waiting to make sure that they don't bite me! I have accepted the fact that I am gay for over a year now, and I have been out to my mom, coach and closest friends since August/ September of last year. Out of fear of being judged, I haven't formally come out to "everyone" , but I don't pretend to be straight either... I just don't openly say that I'm gay. Over the last few weeks, I have heard some people make comments implying that if I'm gay it would be alright with them, and I decided that I am sick of lying by omission, so tonight I posted a "coming out" post on instagram! I only have 50 followers and they are all people I speak to on a semi-regular basis. My mom doesn't accept my sexuality, but I love myself, and a part of growing up is learning how to let your voice be heard. I'm sick of being quiet... So I posted a picture of the gay pride flag and wrote underneath: I have decided that I am sick of lying by omission. 1. Yes, I am gay. 2. No, I am not a promiscuous whore nor dyke (sorry to disappoint you). 3. I'm sorry if you did not notice my hints at an earlier date. 4. Don't judge me and I won't judge you. This won't surprise some people, but it will be a shock to others, being that I am a girly-girl nerd top athlete who is religious and semi-quiet. I have shut off my phone for now and have yet to check for responses. I am scared shitless, but I am sure that I made the right decision. I've had to hold back my tongue from talking about being gay/ making lesbian jokes (I have a few gay friends who are very accepted in my school). Let's hope that the words gets out fast so I don't have to tell anybody and so that if my mom decides to kill me, she does it quickly.
13 likes, a couple comments, and a couple texts so far...all positive! Now the only thing I'm terrified of is my mother's reaction once she finds out. Thank god I have my license.
You told your mum before, she had her chance to be accepting and failed to take advantage of it. As you said, you can't hide yourself forever, it does too much damage! To heck with her
Thanks! So, today at school didn't go as expected, but it didn't go bad either. No one brought it up, but a few people were extra nice to me, in a seemingly silent acknowledgment. It was nice, as it was seen as no big deal, just like how I want to be seen. I honestly don't think that being gay is a big deal, but rather an extra spunky quality of mine; luckily those around me must think the same thing.
My mom found out. She's not happy, and has decided that she is going to tell my father and sister (both of whom I'm not close to) that I'm gay. This should be interesting. She handled it better than I thought, but I can tell that she is concealing her feelings, so I'm preparing for her outrage within the next few days/months to come. Instead of demanding that I go to church she said, "Kase, at least you are pretty and smart... but you're not a big dyke, is this because of your "incident" at 9 or your bullying in 7th grade?" I think my public outing makes it real for her. I already gave up on her; she lost me long ago. This summer is not going to be easy. Lets hope I can stay strong and don't have a breakdown. I made the choice to out myself; I have to deal with the repercussions like a grown up. ---------- Post added 5th Jun 2014 at 06:10 PM ---------- It's sad that the kids in my school don't give a crap about my sexuality, yet my mother calls it a "defect".
