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I tried coming out to my parents last night

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Hidden Angel, Aug 17, 2008.

  1. Hidden Angel

    Hidden Angel Guest

    Well I'm not sure tried is the right word for it because I didn't even say a word but I wanted to come out to my parents last night. The problem is that I got as far as standing outside the lounge ready to walk in and ask them if i could talk about something with them when I had like a minor panic attack, or thats what it seemed like. I started to breath really fast and sort of hyperventilate and I started to shake really badly so I had to go away and sit down for ages and then I just knew I couldn't go through with it.
    I don't know what to do, I want to tell them but I just can't seem to go through with it.
     
  2. tylerksub

    tylerksub Guest

    Maybe if you find it hard to go talk to them you should try the letter approach. If you have trouble starting like that it probably wouldnt be best to have to sit down and speech to them. Congratulations on your effort though, your make it.
     
  3. Lexington

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    If you really would like to go through with it, write them a short letter. Put down everything you want to say in five or six sentences, then just hand it to them. That'll still be tough, I'm sure, but not as tough as trying to start a talk. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  4. ctw0625

    ctw0625 Guest

    That's a really good try, though, hiddenlips. This is a huge step in your life and not something you can take back, so it's natural to be afraid and have doubts. Just the fact that you were so determined until you physically couldn't face them is impressive. Now, I think you should make sure you ARE ready for this and either try again when you're feeling comfortable (ok, probably wrong word) or take the letter idea. Keep in mind that writing a letter won't keep you from having the talk. It's only an icebreaker so facing them will be something you'll need to be able to do either way. Best of luck!
     
  5. panda

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    Great effort..:thumbsup:..You'll do it somehow, when the times right.
     
  6. Mirko

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    Hi there! I think it is fantastic that you tried. That is what counts! Don't give up on it. You will be able to come out to them. Sometimes, we retreat because we might not be as ready as we thought we were and it is a major step to take. But that is okay. Even that try has brought you one step closer. Give it a couple of days, and when you feel ready and you have an opening try it again then. Take a deep breath. Keep telling yourself that everything will be alright.

    What might help you is if you try writing down your thoughts. For example you could write them down in point form, which will provide you with bit of a 'road map' as to what you wanted to tell them. Sometimes, when we order our thoughts a bit, we are a bit more relaxed, because we went through it ourselves. The other option is (and as it was mentioned above) writing a letter. It can be as long or as short as you wanted it to be. Express your feelings. Give your parents the time to read it. Stay with them.

    You could also try coming out to your parents individually. You could for example come out to your mom first and then to your dad, or vice versa. Coming out to them individually has the advantage of being able to ask for support when coming out to the other parent.

    It will be alright.
     
  7. silentsound

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    Well, it is great that you tried! Maybe it wasn't the right moment for you, and that's fine. There is no rush, wait until it feels completely right. You'll know when that moment comes. You will probably still shake and you will probably still be quite nervous, but the time will come when that doesn't matter at all because you know that you are ready. Give it time if you still feel nervous after a false start. I know for me, I started thinking I might be ready about six months before I actually came out to someone even though I know now that I wasn't at all ready then like I am now. When the time comes, you will just know. Good on you for trying, that is a huge undertaking. Like others have suggested, the letter approach is a good one too if you can't choke the words out (which is incredibly difficult) I wish you good luck, you are on the right track =)