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The Long Awaited Conclusion!!! =O

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Brett, Aug 21, 2008.

  1. Brett

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    As many of you know, I've had quite bit of parent drama lately.......well it's finally over!
    About a month ago, my mom told me that I had one week to tell my dad that I'm gay. So of course she tells him right away.....ugh
    And there was a very akward conve that followed. My Dad told me that he would never accept my "life style" but he would tolerate it for the sake of the family, and he wouldn't try to change me. He said that he knew that if I was ever going to change, I'd do it on my own.
    He continued to tell me that he thought that by being gay, I'd never truly be happy. He said that the dozen or so people that he works with that are gay are all miserable. Well except for one gay guy, and the two awesome lesbians he works with! But he said that he just wants me to be happy, and that's all that he cares about.
    Needless to say I'm still in shock. No beatings. I still have a house. I can't believe it! He didn't exatly take it better than my mom, but he sure as hell was nicer about it!
    I'm currently attending counseling on a weekly basis at a methodist church. The guy seems nice, but he's also biased. That's another story though. I'm just so gald that I survived coming out to my dad!
     
  2. otc877

    otc877 Guest

    Be careful with a therapist affiliated with a group not known to be tolerant of LGBT. I would suggest that you find a more open therapist, and suggest to your parents that you will continue to see a therapist (assuming it was their idea) if they agree to also see the same one.

    Also, explain to your dad that expressing your homosexuality is the only real way to fulfill a happy life. Explain that otherwise, you'd be living a lie. A drone to society's standards (not implying choice). Explain that if you were to be with a woman would be completely unnatural to you and that you couldn't possibly live a happy life, if that life is a big lie.

    But, congratulations on a successful coming out :slight_smile:
     
  3. Master Hade

    Master Hade Guest

    yay!!! happy times....... no beatings!! thats soo nice!
     
  4. paint

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    first of all CONGRATULATIONS! Bet you that lifted like 3 tons of stress off of your chest, huh?

    I understand your being shocked. It's a pretty awesome thing when your dad believes your happiness to be more important than his ideals.
    There was a moment after I came out to my dad, where he stood up and went to stand by the window and told me to "come here". I almost hesitated because I thought he was about to pummel me right out the window. And then the sh:***: would have been on, right there in Mac D's. ...
    But he just looked at me, crying, and said "I'm not your judge. I'm not your judge, I'm your father." He couldn't accept my "life style" either, but I was always welcome at his house. It stunned me, and I almost broke-down and cried too.

    I don't know if you can tell whether he will ever accept you entirely, but he loves you and that's definitely a beginning. Again congratz.


    oh and your out status could use some more love now. : )
     
    #4 paint, Aug 22, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2008
  5. silentsound

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    Hurrah for being in one piece with a roof over your head! I am glad to hear that he won't try to change you, you must be so relieved! Congratulations!
     
  6. panda

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    That's great to hear!!:eusa_danc
     
  7. biisme

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    Yayyyyyy!!!!! Yay that everything is out in the open, and that your dad was, as you said, at least pretty nice about it. Hopefully, over time he will see that you can be perfectly happy the way you are.

    I also agree though, to be careful about seeing a therapist that is biased. Just...be wary. (*hug*)
     
  8. Brett

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    Yeah, the therapist is one of the downsides to this whole thing, but other than that I'd have to say that it all went amazingly well!
    Well that ends the nastiest stage of my life to date! Hopefully it'll be the nastiest for a good while.
    Thanks to all of you for the support! =]
     
  9. Mickey

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    Ok....COOL! Have you tried a unitarian (sp?) church? I think they have them pretty much everywhere and they accept EVERYONE! You may even be able to continue with counceling there. Just a thought....:icon_bigg