I have fully admitted myself to be gay recently ( like a month ago) and i look back to my past, and i figured out something that was..surprising...here is my story. It was back at Thanksgiving of 2004 (or 2005) that i trid to enter a gay chat room on a website. However, my dad was able to track down the history of the internet, and he found that site........It was probably 10:00 in night, when my dad entered my room ( i was watching Ice Age!) and he said this: " come here! I thought you were more serious than this!" I go to the computer, and the logging in page of the gay chatroom was on-screen..........i dropped all emotions and stood there...i didn't know what gay even was, i was barely 11, for god's sake! i didn't know what to say...and then i went back and slept in my bed.......does he know? Well, the next morning, he said this: " Neither you or your brother are gay. you will both like girls. YOU HEAR ME!!??"".......back then, i didn't know, but now at 14, i fully realize that that was my first chance at coming out to my parents, but i was so naive i didn't say anything. I didn't admit anything to them yet, and i am still building up the courage to tell them one day....that is my story......
I found your post interesting. I'm only 13 and worry that my parents and 9 year old brother who all use this computer will one day find the history. I make sure at night I delete it and do it many times before I eventually hop into bed. My parents at the moment think I'm playing a game on the internet and my brother is asleep only a few metres away from me. I don't feel as though I'm ready as yet to tell my Dad & Mum and probably won't for some time to come.
Wow.. well I'm not suprised that you didn't really use that first 'opportunity' to come out; when you're that young it's all still really confusing, even if you have worked out who you're attracted to, which loads of people haven't. I guess knowing your dad feels that way is probably a bit hard, but you actually have a bit of an advantage there; you know what sort of way you'll need to handle the issue when you do choose to come out, and you never know - his attitude could surprise you a bit. People tend to act more aggressively when they're frightened, particularly if they're a bit ignorant of the matter. Being naieve isn't really such a bad thing. Good luck though.
Gee... I don't think you should feel bad that at BARELY ELEVEN you couldn't stand up to your dad and tell him you were gay. Most people wouldn't believe someone who was 11 saying they were gay. (Not saying that you didn't know back then, just that many people think people that young could never have an awareness of "gay" feelings.) So really, the fact that you've figured it out at 14 is pretty amazing. I didn't figure it out myself until I was 15 and then I was deeply in the closet for like 5 years, so you sound ahead of the curve to me. Some people can't stand up to their parents when they're adults themselves, and not being able to do it at 11 is totally and completely normal and understandable, especially if you are trying to tell them something they desperately don't want to hear. Just give yourself the time and space you need, build up your support network, and let them know when you feel comfortable--it's not a race. Some people STILL don't come out until they're in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, etc. Some people still get married and have kids and then figure it out... so you're definitely in a pretty "advanced" position.
yeah......Even now i feel like i am a facade at home, but when i am with my friends who know , i am who i am. Knowing HIM, he won't take it lightly, like "oh, it's okay. i love you the way you are!" He DEFINETLY WON'T say that, but then again, you don't know until you try.....
