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coming out not expected and i really need to vent sorry

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by trashoverlord, Jul 6, 2014.

  1. trashoverlord

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    Just a quick warning: it's long and its not happy.. so sorry i guess but hey im not making you read it right?
    lets just say that when my parents found out that i have a girlfriend the whole situation was not good. i had stayed the night at her house and got a text from my mom as soon as i woke up saying your father and i are coming to get you we will bethere in five minutes we need to have a talk. so naturally im scared shitless because who knows what happened so i get in the car five minutes later and the drive home is silent. my dad parks the car outside our house and my mom says is (lets call my girlfriend mary) mary your girlfriend? and i of course deny it but i dont think my mom believed me because she then says "i think its a good idea if you two don't see eachother again" so i get out of the car before i can start screaming and lock myself in my room. im really fucking stressed out by now and all i can think is "oh frick oh frick oh frick they know and now i cant ever see her again i want to die oh frick" and at that time the only one who i had told in my family had been my sister (which went perfectly) but i had told her not to tell. so i call her into my room and shut the door and i ask her if she told and of course she denies it but i dont believe her and she asks me why im freaking out (because by this time im hyperventilating and crying non stop) and i tell her what happened and she gets real quiet and i start yelling at her (i know not the best move but i was pissed) and i started packing a backpack because i knew if my parents knew that it wasn't gonna be safe there anymroe and she asks what im doing and i say im leaving and she leaves my room after i scream at her to do so and my mom comes rushing in yelling at me to stop and saying "i can help you stop dont go" so something just snaps inside of me and i scream at the top of my lungs "im leaving now let me fucking go, you wont have to deal with me anymore" and she grabs me and says she can get me help and i dont have to go and that she loves me "and i finish packing my bag and say "fuck you how the fuck am i supposed to feel safe in a house where everyone treats being gay like its a fucking joke or a fucking phase or something not fucking natural and disgusting, how the fuck am i supposed to live here when from when i could understand words my whole family has been telling me that being gay is disgusting in wrong" and by that time my mom is crying and she says "i dont know what i did wrong what did i do to deserve this why are you like this i can help you i can fix you" so i shove the fuck past her and walk out the door and i get maybe five minutes away from my house in the 100 degree weather when my dad pulls up next to me and comes out of his car. he grabs me hard enough to bruise, punches me in the shoulder and says "youre not fucking going anywhere who the fuck do you think you are where the fuck are you going to go" and he tries to pull me to his car but ive gotten smart over the years so i tell him ill scream if he doesnt let go and he does and i get the hell out of there and dont go back that night but eventually i have to because theyre right where would i go, i didnt grab my cash when i left and i could stay with mary sure but sooner or later my father would come knocking and now im back here and no one is talking to me which is good i guess but every so often i hear my brother whisper "dyke" just loud enough to hear and my mother cant look at me without crying. so now mary and i are trying to finish highschool early and save up all of our money so we can move out asap. so yeah my coming out story was long, and horrible and i dont expect anyone to read this or even care i just needed a place to vent but thank you to anyone who reads it.
    (also sorry for any mistakes in spelling and such its three in the morning and im really streest out atm)
     
    #1 trashoverlord, Jul 6, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2014
  2. poetofdarkness

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    (*hug*)Holy shit i feel so sorry for you, it's horrible that your own family would treat you like that. But i have to admit, I like your swearing style. I'd probably say something like that if I was ever in your situation. Remember thousands of LGBT peeps go through what you do/did every day. I highly recomend listening to the songs Rebel Love Song, Sweet Blasphemy,Never Give In and All Your Hate by Black Veil Brides as you could probably relate to the songs. Also the song Coming Clean by Green Day, which is a song about being LGBT. At least you have your girlfriend to support you. As for your brother calling you a dyke, i'd just turn around and say: "Fuck you you motherfucking cunt.What the fuck do you know about my sexuality? At least I can get ladies!" and give him the finger. I'm always here if you want someone to chat to, I know what it's like to be outcasted for being gay, as people at school won't shut the fuck up about it. Good luck, and remember, never give in, never back down.(*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 6th Jul 2014 at 09:49 PM ----------

    oh, and also, don't listen to what your mum says about needing to be fixed, when she's the one with the problem.
     
  3. Nychthemeron

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    (*hug*)

    I'm so sorry to hear about this. Like poetofdarkness said, your mother was wrong when she said she needed to fix you. You're not broken. You're not wrong.

    You're a girl who likes other girls. And so what?

    Does it make you any less human?
    Does it make you any less you?

    No, it doesn't, because it's apart of you. And sooner or later, your family will have to pull the sticks from their buttholes and understand that.

    There's no excuse for it.
     
  4. poetofdarkness

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    holy shit that made me laugh so hard, my mum actually came in and asked me if i was ok.
     
  5. trashoverlord

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    Thank you so much for all of the supportive replies, it seriously means so much and I will definitely heck those songs out, once again, thank you
     
  6. RainbowMan

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    Sorry to hear about this - it really sucks being rejected for the sole reason that you're gay - you're absolutely correct, your mom doesn't need to "fix" you, you're not broken in any way. (*hug*)
     
  7. BiPenguin

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    So sorry to hear this. You know they don't have the right to bash you up, right? If your 'family' are belting you, get help and report it. Never ever accept it.
     
  8. Greeley

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    Im sure you've heard all the "It gets better" speeches but i really think it will for you.

    When my partner came out the closet to his parents, his mum said "What will my friends think?!" in a disgusted voice. And apparently she just ignored it for a few months going like "Any girlfriends?" whilst he was at school and he would just have to reply every time going "Nope, and there wont be any..." and she just didnt want it to happen.

    But she got used to it eventually. She's a nice woman, very possessive and interfering but nice. I'm sure it'll be all ok eventually!
     
  9. ABeautifulMind

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    Wow... I was headed to bed and happened to see the title and thought I should check it out and I am just so damn sorry to see thats how your experience went. I cant believe your sister would tell your parents. And the posters above were absolutely right, you are NOT in need of fucking repair... we can fix you... I swear to god if my parents say that to me I would have done the same fucking thing and left... I would consider just telling them you are somewhere else and continue seeing "mary" and on top of that, I would tell your parents if they want to help you would be willing to talk to someone as long as you could pick the doctor, and find a LGBT/PFLAG/ally psychologist or family therapist. One who could maybe help you (please do not misread, I mean help you with making your parents understand this is who you are) instead of trying to "fix" you... god just typing that pisses me off...


    I really hope things get better for you. I really do. reading this makes me see just how bad it could go... fuck with how your parents were I might even consider telling them its either that or your moving in with "mary" and they may never see you again...


    Please NEVER feel ashamed or afraid or worried or ESPECIALLY unworthy of coming to vent... thats why these forums are here, support.

    EDIT: Also, may I ask, why the hell are they like that? religious indoctrination I assume? if so is it christian?

    For christians, most gay bashing takes place in the old testament and when I was still a devout christian, I remember one of the indoctrinations was that because Jesus Christ had come down from heaven, it marked the end of the Old laws and as such all the previous laws (I believe most if not all the anti gay laws)are abolished... To replace them God sent his son to be a vessel of God like behavior. What I am trying to say is that christians are not supposed to follow the old testament laws (commandments, leviticus, numbers) but rather they are supposed to use Jesus Christ as a role model and behave christ like. Now obviously that means you still have to follow the ten commandment because Jesus did, but the rest never get "transferred" via Jesus (I always joked that he knew his dad was a crazy vengeful nut and refused to bring them all in) Jesus Christ was never anti gay. They are going against their own religion (assuming they are christian)... They are not being Christ like... One other small point, another phrase I was always taught, mainly to keep me and my brother from fighting, was love the sinner hate the sin.... Thats what christians are supposed to do...
     
    #9 ABeautifulMind, Jul 9, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2014
  10. Notsoshure

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    I'm crying i am just so extremely sorry to hear that! Are you ok?
    I can't even imagine what you are going trough. I am just so extremely sorry to hear this, i dont know what Else to say.

    Stay strong! (*hug*)
     
  11. person57

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    I'm so sorry about this!! :frowning2: You don't deserve to be treated like this by your family. If they can't accept you for who you are and love you, they don't matter to you. Fuck haters. Don't listen to them and don't care what they say or think about you. Also, if anyone needs to be fixed, it's your family, not you. Remember to love and embrace who you are and always be yourself unapologetically. You had every right to be angry at them. Also, if you do leave, will you have anywhere to stay? Because that would be a great idea to stay somewhere else away from your family. Stay strong!!! We're always here to show you love and support!! Sorry I wasn't so helpful but I will show you love and support (*hug*)
     
  12. Kj802

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    My eyes are sore from crying, is that even possible?
    I can't believe and parents could say such horrible things to there child, my parents have said some quite mean things. But actually saying to your face that you are broken and that they can fix you is horrible. All I want to do is crawl through the screen and hug you, no joke I feel like you could seriously use one.
    Everyone here on EC love you just they way you are...remember that!
    :frowning2:
     
  13. justpeachy1

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    im so sorry it happened this way, thats terrible that youre treated this way and you deserve so much better from them. all i can say is that i think it would go the same way in my house if anyone found out, and you are definitely not alone in this community. just focus on your own happiness and if they can't accept you then they have their own problems to worry about and have no room to judge you. (&&&)