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My coming out stories

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by albert8512, Jul 6, 2014.

  1. albert8512

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    In November 2011 I decided to finally come out to my parents. They were the only people I came out. I was 20 at that time. Things didn't go very well...

    It was November 20th 2011 at 1 AM both of them were still awake and I entered to their room, and I suddenly started to feel very nervous. My heart was beating very fast and I felt I needed breath.

    Mom:What's wrong?
    Me: I.. I.... I am gay.

    I started crying so mom as well. I thought it was a good idea to come out because they said many times that if they happened to have a gay or lesbian child, they were going to be very supportive and all.

    Actually every since I was a child I told them I liked guys, and they took me with therapists to get myself fixed. Neither of these guys actually did shit about it, they just controlled my anxiety. I don't remember them treating my sexuality at all. Probably because they knew being gay is not wrong at all. All I did during that time was to repress what I felt. When I was 18 was when I completely accepted myself as I am.

    So. when I told them they were very ok at the moment. They said they were going to be supportive and other crap that wasn't truth at all.

    Weeks later dad came to my room with this fucking ass book from Richard Cohen who supposedly can revert homosexuality by making dad and son hug each other for a long time. Which is completely bullshit. This day was when things went bad. At this moment I started to become very angry at them. I told them many times I was not confused, and that I wasn't going through a phase. They keep nagging and nagging trying to convince myself I was confused.

    A month passed and things seem to be getting worse and worse as every day passed. Mom was very mad at me, she thought of me as someone who gave up to fight against this belief. Both of them did not anything, but to keep nagging. I was really tired of that shit, I couldn't cope with that stress anymore. I remember this night where I had again another discussion with them, and I remember being so stressed I didn't know what to do anymore. They showed me a video of these damned idiots who claim changing sexuality, and during that time when I was supposedly watching this video, I was actually thinking and praying what to do. I thought about lying to them and tell them I was just confused.

    So I told them that. I told them I was confused, but I could be bisexual. Ever since this day we haven't talked about homosexuality at all. However, the fact about not having their support caused me some mild depression for a whole month.

    In 2013 one day mom asked me from all of the sudden 'If I already liked girls'? and I just answered "I don't know". During 2013 and once in 2014 every time she gets mad at me she says "You fucking better bring a girlfriend here at home because I don't want to see any abnormalities". I never reply anything.

    I wish I could move out, but I don't think this will happen until next year when I transfer to an apartment or a dormitory in the University.

    Right now I'm still studying at the community college. I finally decided what to major on. I want to get a BA and Masters in Psychology. Actually last semester thanks to my Human Sexuality instructor and the class itself I somehow became more gay open to many things. For example, I once came into my instructor's office, and I told her I was gay and I knew she was very gay friendly, and she has helped me a lot during this. She gave me a card for a therapist, so I could threat my stress and anxiety because of the fact of living a in house where being gay is bad.

    Moreover, I joined this organization for gay and bisexual men where I have met other gay guys. It's coordinated by Health Department. They give us conversations and topics, on how to prevent STI's and stuff like that.

    I have come out to my closest friends. My best friend is about my age and he's atheist he was very cool about it, and he's supportive and he actually said he knew it. Other friends I have they're both female, and they were also very supportive and didn't care about my sexuality. They actually gave me tips when I wanted to hit on guy I liked.

    As for my parents, I plan to come out again when I move out with a friend to an apartment. I have now a lot of support. From my friends, my college instructors who have also offered themselves to even speak with my parents, and also a friend of my mom whose daughter is a lesbian. She said I could count on her and she would even talk with my parents too. I also count with the information I have learned in Human Sexuality Class and Abnormal Psychology where it's quite crystal clear that and supported by the APA that Homosexuality is not at disorder. Well I just hope things keep getting better and better for me. I hope I will not longer care if I have my parents support next time.
     
  2. poetofdarkness

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    It's sad that your parents treated you like that when they said they'd do the opposite and be supportive. Especially over something you can't control. Something like this happened to one of my friends when he came out and he had to stay at my place until they let him move back in. It took them a month, but they got over it. Things will get better, and if they still aren't supportive next time, remember, karma's a bitch.