so about three days ago while on vacation I came out to my sister as a lesbian. I hadn't planned to. We had seen a plane with a proposal on the back of it and she asked me how I would like to be proprosed to when my future boyfriend proposeed to me. I said "what if i can't get married, at least not now." and she told me she knew I always had this notion that I would never get married but it was silly and one day I was going to find a great guy. I cut her off and told her "what if I dont like men" she still didn't get it and I said "Dude, I like girls." She stared at me for a few secs and walked into the elevator and closed it without me in it. (we come from a super christian, super homophobic family) I cried a little because even though me and my sister aren't super close, she's still my sister. An hour later she came to me by the pool and asked if we could talk. She apologized for being rude about the whole thin, she told me she supported me and didn't agree with our family and she just hadn't expected it. She asked me who I liked. She then told me how offended she was that I had told my freind (who my sister does not like) before her. It went well but my sister, as we share a room and bed during vacations, had taken to building a pillow wall between me and her whereevr we are, including but not limited to the couch, the floor, and the bed. Any tips?
It's natural that she would feel 'betrayed,' even if she shouldn't. You said yourself you came from a homophobic family - who said she was an exception, especially if she wasn't vocal about it? I'm sorry she reacted like this. I think the best thing you can do now is try to talk to her. Tell her that you didn't know she didn't agree with your family, and that you were just afraid of her reaction because she's your family too. If that doesn't work, just give her some time. She supports you. She's just upset right now because you told someone she dislikes before her. Irrational excuse or not, I think she'll come around. (*hug*)
Hi there! It can be hard to predict how others, including family members, will react at times. It certainly came as a surprise to her. At least from wham you have mentioned, it doesn't seem like it that she expected it, or had any clues about it, at all. It's great that she came back to you, apologized and started speaking with you about it, and is supportive. She could feel a little 'left out now' because she wasn't the first one to know. That alone could be an indication of how much your sister cares about you knowing now that you have gone through quite a bit over the last little while. As above mentioned, give her some time. Let things settle in a bit further. Also, try engaging her a bit more in what's going on in your life at the moment, which could give the feeling that you do want your sister to be part of your life. Coming out to her, and essentially saying to her 'I trust you with this,' you have started to forge a 'new' kind of relationship.
