My advice

I really wanted to write this in the hope that it will help at least one person. Read it and make up your own mind.
I was born gay, always knew I was, never dated girls. I'm not religious, nor are my parents. We live in a small town where everybody knows each other and where there is very VERY few gay people. As a result, my family were rather shut off to the idea.
All the way through life, I felt like I had to make up for something. I felt I had to find the thing that made up for the fact that I was gay, sort of an apology in a way. Through high school I coped, receiving a perfect record and great grades. I largely kept myself to myself and never got close to anyone really. I worked hard to have money incase I was ever outed- something I thought was inevitable. I would never disagree with someone or cause a scene.... Incase I was outed. Basically life became a bit tough. I'd sit through homophobic conversations, watch the tv being turned over when gay couples were on and I'd immerse myself in something to clear my mind of it. I went to uni and in my third year, I decided after three weeks of shaking hands and asthma attacks that enough was enough, I had to tell someone. I got a little tipsy and text my mum "mum... We have to talk" then I ignored my phone in fear for three days. I finally decided I had to up the courage and went home for three days. I have never felt so sick in all my life as I did when the train pulled into the station. On the first night, mum came into my room and said "we know, we all do. It's obvious... You've never had a girlfriend" she explained that my dad knew too.... Apparently he didn't though. He went mad. He wouldn't look at me, he said a LOT of very hurtful things like "I hope for your patients sake you get tested regularly" and made out it was my fault later when my mum was ill. Basically, I got a huge kick in the teeth. For a month we barely spoke, but now we speak.... Not about anything personal, just the weather, work, uni etc. they explained they could handle it but i was never to even mention if I got a bf. They still wanted contact with me but never ever wanted to meet a boyfriend. They also swore me to secrecy. For a couple weeks, my hands shook with stress and nerves and I went from asthma attack to asthma attack but when I got over it, I quickly recovered. It kinda sucks, but I owe nobody anything. I can do what I want to do, when I want to do it. I don't have a massive weight on me anymore. I'm a much stronger person. I used to look at a guy and think "he's out, he's popular and good looking... I could never even dream of having him/ being him" but now I this "I don't really want you.... Find me a nice sensible guy with a personality that loves me for who I am".
What I'm basically saying is... Life absolutely sucks in the closet. If the people around you are worth their weight in salt, they will love you endlessly, if not.... It's not that hard to get over them. The grass is greener on the other side. Screw the people who don't like it (including parents).... Because you're here for a very short time.
My situation now? Dad barely talks to me... Unless it's about something completely irrelevant of the conversation (like sport), mum is ok... But is governed by my dads ideas. I'm waaay more independent, I have my own opinions. Basically.... Just do it.... You will never be ready... Nobody ever is! Just deal with it!