Came out to dad, and he said he accepted me as a person. However, he said, there is no way he will ever accept gay marriage. He said anyone that if I bring anyone to the house that is male will be treated based on "their behavior", whatever that means. The financial support will continue. But he said basically that, "you want me to accept you and not change you, so you have to accept me and not demand I change." My mom, who had offered support last week, seemed to change a little, saying she was worried about me getting AIDS. They both said they don't want me to have public displays of affection around family if I do meet someone of the same sex. My uncle is gay and my mom said, "Your uncle ___ is respectful of the family, and you don't see him and Sam(name changed) kissing in front of everyone in the family out of respect for us." So, yeah, it's done, but it certainly wasn't any celebration. My dad says he doesn't understand why the LGBT community celebrates everything. Whatever.....
ok well atleast he didnt call you an abomination or stop the financial support but i guess its not exactly a victory either, kinda seems like there trying to censor you or something
A shame he doesn't support you being able to get married to the one you love, would have probably called him out on that, but that was half-decent anyway.
After all the stress and build up you went through I can see that reaction would have left you feeling pretty 'flat'. But its early days and they can move on from this position. It may well melt away once they see you are a happier person and in a good relationship with a fantastic guy
Thank you for sharing this. I do admire your courage to talk to your dad about this. I think what's good here is that he still accepted you though he has a long way to go (including your mum). I hope you are doing ok.
congrats on coming out to your parents. as for your mom and dad and their view? it's a starting place. on the other hand, i do know people mostly older people who frown on public displays of affection in Hetro relationships even for married couples.
Congrats on coming out to your parents! Just remember that it takes time for them as well. You've had time to get used to this; they haven't. They may or may not come around and support you, but I bet they will get better at least.
Doesn't sound like it. Dad- "Don't do anything rash before we can sit down and talk. This is emotional for me. It's like if mom walked out on me, someone had cancer, or when I had my open heart surgery." Me: "Gee, I am glad you are comparing my sexuality with cancer." "No, that's not what I said."-dad. I am getting really frustrated with this.
Big Guy, i think i know what your dad means. this is a life changing event for him as well as you. and it is very sudden and fresh, so like the things he mentioned he needs to process it himself and with you. that may be why he said he wants to talk with you. he seems to be trying to process this with the best possible outcome for everyone. i may be wrong but i'd let this play out and see where it goes because you can't put that toothpaste back in the tube now. (*hug*)
Trust me, it gets better. My dad compared it to finding out his brother was a drug addict. It's been about 24 hrs. It's going to take some time. It's been about 7 months for me, and I'm not going to lie, he isn't fine with it, but it is better.
