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So I told my mom...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Brendon, Sep 5, 2008.

  1. Brendon

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    SoCal
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So first off there is a few things to know about my mom.
    She is indirectly a bigot, like she won't directly say anything hateful.
    She is a major believer in the bible and everything it says.
    And she is very passive aggressive.

    So today in the car ride home my mom was talking about how she just had found out her friend was a lesbian, in a not so nice tone. She was saying that she didn't know what to get her for a birthday present because she was a lesbian now. So I started getting a little annoyed.

    Then when we got home we were arguing about several things, and I called her a bigot, and she said she didn't know what that was (lol). Then I explained to her how she speaks about gay people, and told her how evil it was, like when she was angry that gay marriage was made legal.

    So then I dropped the bomb, I told her "You don't even realize that your own son is bisexual" and I walked away into my room.

    After about a minute of silence she came in. She began telling me how gay people get AIDS and die. I retaliated with reminding her that AIDS infects humans, not just gay people. Then she began to blame many things on me being bi, such as me being "Distant" from the family (name me a teenage boy who wants to hang out with his parents 24/7). Then she told me I was only experimenting, and that it meant nothing. There are other things she said that made me actually laugh at how much of a bigot she was, but I'm too lazy to go into detail.

    So for a while she was crying, and I felt no remorse, since I have grown to despise her over the last few months.

    Over the next few weeks things are probably going to change for the worse here, but other than that, I am glad I said what I said.

    Oh, and one of my awesome friends told me I could live with him if things got bad :grin:

    And I am officially out to everyone now!
     
  2. biisme

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    Oh. I'm sorry about your mother. It may be that she just needs to realize that you're still the same person you were before, and therefore, there's nothing wrong with someone being gay/lesbian,bisexual etc. However, time will tell if her views will change.

    I really hope it does tho, for you. (*hug*) But, it sounds like you have a great friend! And, congratulations on being otu to everyone. (*hug*)
     
  3. Blaz

    Blaz Guest

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    Hey! First of all, co0ngratulations on coming out to everyone. From your mom's POV, the fact of a loved one being something you perceive as horrible, dangerous, immoral, or even evil tends to shatter the foundation on which people base their beliefs. Right now it seems as though she is trying to pick up the pieces and mend things together to be the way the were. She is in denial, there's no way her friend can be lesbian, let alone her son. Give her time because it will take time for her to build a new foundation on which she builds her morals and beliefs, as she must do it one step at a time. It''s good that you have an accepting friend that will take you in if things get hard, cause you may need them. And once again, congratulations!
     
  4. Loveless

    Loveless Guest

    Well sorry about your mom, And congrats on coming out!
     
  5. Noah

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    Congrats! Similar to my mom's reaction.....
     
  6. shakerdancee

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    Ask her to point to it in the Bible...

    <3 u brenaan
     
  7. paint

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    First of all congratz.!! :eusa_danc

    I realized how how extreme it was for my dad to find out. Parents tend to imagine great fanciful futures for their children for years upon years. And then they feel that they have to change within a few days. But of course you can still build a great life upon valor, success, passion and love. She should be happy that you have made a choice with the purpose of trashing labels and being an actual person., I think. :slight_smile:
     
  8. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

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    It wasn't the best coming out but now that it is done, you can't change it. However, I'd print off some of the PFLAG materials and give it to her. She may not read them but at least you tried to give her some education.
     
  9. Derek the Wolf

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    Hmm. Not ideal circumstances to come out. Still, it sounds like it went pretty well considering her attitude towards homosexuality. Give her a little more time to work through the information, and I'm sure she'll come around. :slight_smile:
     
  10. kramer362

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    i dunno how easy it's gonna be to educate a woman who didn't know what a bigot was...

    no offense =\
     
    #10 kramer362, Sep 6, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2008