Hi everyone! I'm new here, this is my first post. I've been following the forums for a while and finally have something to share. Back in May I came to terms with myself about being gay, after a long time questioning. Being from countryside Brazil, this isn't an easy thing to do. It made me very emotional and people noticed (sometimes it was hard to play it cool). This male friend with whom I became very close since high school started to worry about what was going on. During the next two months, I kept saying that I would tell him when I was ready. That happen last week. We were texting and I said I was finally ready to tell him, but it had to be in person. So we arranged to take a walk in the park after work. While we texted, I was calm and confident that everything would be a breeze, but about an hour from the time we arranged, I started to freak out. I was shaking, my hands and feet freezing and I couldn't stand still. I almost backed off. But I decided that I had to do it and that was the day. I met him and we started to walk around, chitchatting, until he was like "Ok, tell me! You're driving me crazy." So we went to a less crowded area. I told him that no one else could know this for now. He agreed. I took a deep breath, was shaking to death. I said "[Friend]... I... Am... Gay." It looked like time had stop while I waited to be judged (I was thinking about all the terrible ways he could react). His reaction was much better than I expected. He told me he didn't have a problem with that and that I should accept myself as I was and that he already kind of knew it. He was extremely supportive. He wanted to hear from me how I was about all of this, how I was dealing with everything. He even started talking about boyfriends. Midway throught our conversation, he told me he had a big fight with his girlfriend two hours earlier and they were on the verge of breaking up. So we talked about that and our fears and plans, about the future and how everything was changing. We planned to spend like one hour in that park, but we ended up staying more than three hours there. But it was probably one of the deepest conversations I had in my life and the deepest I had with him. And I think it was the first time we hugged for real. It was a great experience. Coming out to him made our friendship stronger, I think. And I discovered how much of a friend he is. The only thing that bugs me is that I don't really feel like "a weight have been lifted off my shoulders". I don't feel "released." Is it normal? Have you guys been throught this kind of feelings? Anyway, I'm looking forward to come out to more people (I think I might get addicted to coming out)
Hey, welcome to EC It's great that your friend turned out to be so supportive! When I first came out I didn't feel that the weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Actually, while happy about finally being out to someone, at the same time I was scared of all the things that might go wrong - that person outing me against my will, ditching me as their friend, and a bunch of other things. My concerns were mostly unjustified and they never really came true, but the fear was still there. But, as I kept coming out to more and more people, I started to feel more comfortable with myself and around my friends. I've opened myself up to them more and was finally able to be my true self. What I'm trying to say is - you might not feel much better about it just yet, but that feeling should appear as you gradually start coming out to more people. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. It's worth it.
Hey well done for coming out! Weirdly your story sounds nearly identical to when I came out to one of my best friends. I certainly felt all shaky and nervous like you did. As for a weight coming off your shoulders, I certainly felt that way when I came out to my Mum but not my friends. You're still probably feeling very anxious about everything so its perfectly normal you don't feel that relieved. This will happen in time I imagine with the more people you tell. Good luck out there!
Thank you for your support, guys! And thanks for sharing your stories. I'm feeling a lot better knowing that I am not the only one that didn't felt the weight being lifted right away. But anyway, I'll keep going. Today might be the day I come out to another friend (wish me luck and let's see how it goes). For those who are not out to friends yet because of fear, stay strong and eventually it will happen and your friends will probably react much better than you ever expected (they are your friends, after all). Stay strong!
