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Came out and want back in

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by lesbochick87, Aug 21, 2014.

  1. lesbochick87

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    I came out to a few people and the hardest was my mom. I come from a very religious family and it is highly frowned upon it the Christian faith and ever since I came out to my mom our relationship has changed. She makes hurtful comments. Like yesterday we were at talking and she asked if I had heard from my girlfriend and when I said yes she said oh I have been praying that she would break up with you. that killed me it was like she stabbed in the chest. :tears:
     
  2. Leonardo

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    I'm sorry to hear that your mom was unsupportive. Perhaps she needs some time to get used to your sexuality, it probably came as a big shock. However, that doesn't give her the right to make hurtful comments, and what she said about your girlfriend was not only rude but completely unjustified. You have done nothing to deserve her anger and whatever is happening now is down to her problems, not yours. You haven't done anything wrong here. Have you tried to talk with her about it? Maybe you could explain that her comments are hurtful and ask her to stop? If after a while she still refuses to accept you then it is her loss, not yours. She doesn't deserve a daughter if she cannot treat her properly. I understand that this is a hard time for you, I'm here. Post a message on my wall anytime you want. EC is here for you.
     
  3. lesbochick87

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    I have mentioned it to her but she says that she doesn't want to see me go to hell because I'm a lesbian. I know she loves me, but its really hard. I don't think she realizes how hard well I know she doesn't realize how hard it is for me to deal with everything I'm going through with coming out and having people judge me because of my sexuality
     
  4. Leonardo

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    At least you know she loves you, and although she's going about it in the worst way possible, she cares about you. I know it sucks, I'm sorry :frowning2: You might never see eye to eye about it but I think in time she'll accept it more. The people on EC are here to support you through the difficulties that you're going through, so please don't feel alone. We're here.
     
  5. Queer NOS

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    *hugs*

    I am so sorry that your mother is being so abrasive with you. My father also occasionally says very hurtful things (though few of them have anything to do with my sexuality); parents sometimes become so caught up in their own emotions that they speak with their temporary emotions instead of their permanent love. That being said, she being overwhelmed, confused, or what-have-you is no excuse for her to treat you this way. If your mother would allow such comments, it may be helpful to gently confront her with something along the lines of "I do not mind you having whatever opinion you have about my sexuality, but I do not want our disagreements to change things between us, and the comments that you make hurt my feelings deeply."

    Also, would you mother be open to reading what Biblical scholars suggest that the Bible really says about homosexuality (fear not: it, in its original form, doesn't say terribly much about it at all)? I found this article--http://soulforce.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/whatthebiblesays.pdf--to be very thorough and informative. It is also important to note that the mandates of Leviticus that outlaw male sodomy, clothing of different fibers, and a plethora of other things applied only to that specific Israelite society; from what I was always taught about Christianity, the coming of Christ voided all of those laws and replaced them with "Love thy neighbor, cast out greed, and follow me."

    I hope that your situation improves soon and that you and your mother can have a happy, supportive relationship with one another.
     
  6. lesbochick87

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    Thank you I will look in to that and I hope we can too I love my mother very much and I would do anything for her.