Hey EC! Well, its been quite some while since I've visited this site less alone posted. My life has been quite interesting and after all that I've been through since the last time I posted, I figured that I would post about my life and coming out, thus far. So for those who don't know, I'm a gay male who is 28 now and I came to grips with my life and my sexuality about 3 years ago. Even coming to grips with who I was then, I still had doubts and felt a shame of who I was. My biggest issue stemmed from how my family would think of me. On the other hand, I was a person who looked to his closest friendships as similar to any family members. Because of that, I also took into consideration of what my closest friend thought of me as well. I kept feeling they would have issues with me being gay and I kept it inside until I told my best friend when I was 26. Little did I know that telling that one person would be one the biggest reliefs and best thing to happen in my life. For the longest time I kept that secret between myself and my best friend and I was hesitant to tell anybody else. Over time, I was able to tell a few more friends and lessen the burden and weight that I had hanging over my head. My next biggest step was coming out to my family. Seeing that my mother was HUGE into religion, I faced my next hurdle in life, coming out to my parents, especially my mother. Being that I was my mothers only child, I found it incredibly hard to come out to her, and thought that I would be put out (since she mainly supported me financially). I ultimately decided that I wasn't ready to come out to either my mother or my father. But I didn't want to revert back into the closet after pushing myself to come out, I decided that my best move was to move out and continue the process I needed to feel comfortable with myself. So 8 months ago I moved out and I'm living in another state. I have friends here, in which I came out to prior to moving, that live in the same state/city/town with (which really made the "been living with momma his whole life that can't cook and be on his own" transition a whole lot better than I first imagined, lol). From there I have made friends and I found myself reverting back into the closest that I had fought with myself so hard to get out of. One weekend, a group of friends of my friends came to visit and after drinking and what not, was confronted about his sexuality. Being there and seeing how uncomfortable it was for him (although everyone knew he was gay), I thought if I came out with him it would help him and easy the burden of admitting it to them. Needless to say, he approached me later on and couldn't of been more appreciative to how much I helped him come out to his friends. So not only did I help out a stranger (at the time), I also came out to the people I became friends with. On top of it all, they were perfectly fine with me being gay (which was a reason why I reverted back into the closet after moving). As of this past weekend I'm completely out to everyone I know in the state I now live in and, what was my biggest fear, each and everyone can careless about who I like and love. They love and like me for who I am as a person. I have never felt this much relief in my life and although it took 3 years to really figure it all out, I can just say to those that are in my position, that it can and it will get better if you want to make it better. I still haven't told my parents. But I plan to tell them via a letter (because I'm too scared to tell them face to face), but regardless of their response I can lean on my friends to support me. I haven't asked them to support me thus far, but my friends (both from home and my newly formed friendships) have been the biggest support of my life, so I know that they will be there if (worst case scenario) my parents won't. Again, I just felt like I should share my story because I'm sure there surely is someone else that is or will end up in my shoes. I went through a lot to get where I am without any guidance or direction and I hope this story inspires others and aids in what ever process they decide to take! :smilewave TB
