When I came out to my family as bisexual they sat me down and we talked for hours my mom doesn't believe that it is real and she tried to convince me that this was just a phase brought on by me having Asperger's. For a long time I believed her. It has been a year and I'm tired of looking at them and being reminded so much of my life is hidden from them. I really want to come out to them again but I'm scared. what do I do?
I am so sorry to hear this happened.. That might be your mothers opinion, but bisexuality is very real and for anyone to say it doesn't exist is very hurtful to those people who identity as bisexual, so I can understand how you would have felt invalidated and felt you needed to go back in the closet after hearing what they had to say. I also feel for you that she feels that is was a phase due to you having Aspergers. I think if you really want to come out to them, perhaps write them a letter explaining your thoughts and feelings on the subject and why you feel that this is who you are. Sometimes a letter gives you the opportunity to say things you don't think of saying when you are talking face to face. You usually think later, "Why didn't I say that when I was talking to them", so it makes it a little easier for you to convey your feelings and thoughts. I also think that even if they try to convince you otherwise, you need to stand strong this time and don't feel forced to go back in again. This is who you are and you shouldn't feel ashamed of it and shouldn't feel it's a phase because of other medical issues you have. Just know that we are all here for you and will all support you through this, wether you do end up re-coming out to them now or deciding to wait longer, we will be here for you.
I agree with Blossom (when do I never agree????), I would also add that her concern does not sound like she would ever be unaccepting, just that she might question if you have properly thought it through. With a clear letter, you can go a long way explaining yourself and helping her understand.
I'm an Aspie too - finally diagnosed well into my 40s. Being on the autism spectrum has certainly complicated my efforts to come to terms with my sexuality, but I don't feel it has pushed me in any particular direction (or for us bisexual folks, "directions"). If someone insists that my sexual identity is just one more "social norm" which I have trouble understanding and/or conforming to as an Aspie, that discounts an important part of who I am. Just as a nonautistic "me" wouldn't be me any more, an exclusively-heterosexual or exclusively-homosexual "me" wouldn't be me any more either. My neurological configuration and my sexual orientation are both integral parts of my identity. Trying desperately to be the person I was expected to be - both in social behavior and in sexual orientation - led me into years of substance abuse and could certainly have cost me my life. Today my life means far too much to me to allow anyone else to define it for me. I have to be at peace with myself - that's non-negotiable. It may take others a while to understand and/or accept this - and some never may - but if I go through life estranged from myself then I'll never know who I really was...
