i don't know if i'll ever be ready to come out, even thinking about some of the reactions i would get turns my stomach,it took me a long time to accept myself for who i am, and i have the scars to prove it, i tried to deny it for a long time, a few years i think, i'd act like the rest of the girls and natter on about boys, but even then i realized i was just agreeing with what they said, not what i actually thought, there was a girl in a drama group with me who i just couldn't stop staring at (still can't) but i never really let my self be.. you know; gay, and it wasn't until about 3 months ago that i actually realized it, i was half asleep and trying to find something decent on tv, i ended up watching some incrediblly rubbish program.. but then after it had finished there was a program on that i'd never heard of before...the l word, it helped me see that what i was going through didn't make me a freak of "unhealthy" as my mum refers to it.but that i was normal. a while ago i actually nearly came out to a friend though, she's older than me and i really look up to her, i thought if anyone she would be the person who i could trust with it, so i decided to tell her, i kinda tested the waters first by slipping into a convosation that my friend had just come out (which was true) but her reaction was not what i had expected for her, it went something along the lines of "or so she says, kids that age don't really know thet're just looking for attention" (i'm 14) i'm still friends with her, but she doesn't know. nobody does yet, only me and well anyone who reads this.
When people make comments like that, it really cuts deep. I get alot of that kind of stuff, mostly "bi's need to choose" jargon from my mother. Eventually there will be pople that you feel comfortable being yourself with. Personally, I always found it easier to talk about my "coming out" issues with my non-straight friends. Then again, I am still mostly in the closet, so it's not like I have talked about it with..any...of my straight friends. If one of your friends has just come out, he/she may me a person you could confide in. Of course, that depends on how much you trust them to be discreet. Well, everyone on ec is always here to chat! And by the way, 'The L Word' (the few episodes I have seen) rocks!
Sorry to hear your being disappointed by a close friend's reaction. It always hurts most when the people we care about are not supportive. I know it hurt when I told my parents and they were okay with it to an extent, but still don't believe me. They think its a phase and ask me how I should know since I've never dated, period. Guy or girls. My mother even said she thought that this was a choice, but I told her I didn't think it was. The first person I ever came out to (one of my best friends) was so supportive and helped me to be able to talk to my parents, but the other day she asked me if I would consider dating guys instead of coming out to the rest of my family. That sort of hurt. I told her absolutely not, especially if it was just to put on a show for others. While I may not be comfortable coming out to my whole family just yet, I would not date guys just to appease them or use a guy as a cover.
