Hey!! I'm new, and figured this was as good a place as any to start. Bear with me, I tend to ramble. Everyone always says they felt different, or weird. I didn't I was completely in my own world until a couple years ago. I grew up in a small town and had never been introduced to lgbt anything. I mean now that I look back, I realize I was a huge lesbian. When I was 8, I was playing sardines (kind of like hide and go seek) with my friends, and me and my own friend were in the closet hiding alone, and I leaned over and kissed her. She freaked out and I told her I thought she was my teddy bear... Hahaha I would get super jealous whenever my friends were hanging out with other people. One time I poured glue all down this girls back because I was jealous she was spending time with my friend. I joined the rugby team at my school. I hated wearing dresses. My friends would always ask me "who I liked" and every time I would think about it and truthfully say nobody. I couldn't decipher between friendship and crushes. Because I thought that's how everyone felt towards their friends. A couple years ago at a rugby tournament, after meeting a few lesbians and playing with them for awhile, I had figured I was straight. Just hadn't met the right guy... Until I saw this girl. She was from a team in the states and she was beautiful. She gave me her number to organize a traveling game down there. And we texted for weeks. Never about rugby. Every time I'd get a text from her my heart would flutter and I'd giggle uncontrollably. Before I even opened it. Slowly we stopped texting, though we are really good friends now. I then struggled with the idea that I might be a lesbian. All of my friends have boyfriends, and I would have guys ask me out and then I'd never text them back. Wasn't interested in any of them. Still I just thought, maybe I hadn't met the right one. I continued googling the word lesbian, And frequenting autostraddle, afterellen, and tumblr. I would awkwardly stare at every lesbian I met and hoped they were single and come talk to me. I would find drunk lesbians at rugby tournaments and make out with them. Eventually I realized straight girls don't do these things. I'm gay. The first time i tried to come out to someone, i went to say the words and instead said "i.... Have cancer" ......WHAT?!? NOT what i was going for. "I don't have cancer, that wasn't funny. I'm sorry, bye" gaaahhhh. After that I figured it would be easier to tell my friends I have a girlfriend than tell them I am a lesbian, so I decided to wait it out. Unfortunately the WORST cock block in the world is "no, we are all straight". Happened way too often. So often. Eventually I realized if I ever wanted to find a girlfriend I'd have to tell my friends I'm gay so they can stop telling people I am straight. Or create an *******. Hello, *******! I met two girls on *******, one lived in the states. (What is it with me and Americans?) and one is local. She gave me her number and we have been texting for a few weeks. But I really don't know how to ask girls out. So I've been waiting for her to do it and I think we are at a stand still. I'm gonna have to just go for it.... But anyways. I've told 7 of my friends that I'm interested in girls now and they have taken it very well. I want to tell my best friend but I'm super nervous things will get weird between us because we are so so close and I haven't told her yet. I feel like I'm ready to tell my parents, but every time I go to do it I get nervous. And that's where I'm at at coming out, and I'm feeling good about it!
Urg, you've just described exactly how I felt! People say 'I knew from age five that I was 'different'...' Not me! I didn't know anything was out of the ordinary until, like you, I simply realised that I didn't get those fluttery feelings for guys. I waited and waited and waited. Dated guys, slept with a couple, all with no feelings. I happily said 'yeah, I just don't enjoy sex' (despite being quite sexually interested in my head, if that makes sense....not to guys, just sex in general) and yet STILL I didn't make the connection that maybe I was sleeping with the wrong gender. Being 'obsessed' (for want of a better word) with random girls at work still didn't make it click. It wasn't until I'd drunkenly 'gone somewhere' with a girl that I even started entertaining the idea. Anyway, you're much further along in the process than me. I told four or five friends a few years ago, when I was 18, and then lost all courage when it came to telling anyone else, told the friends I had already told that I was just confused, and now here I am sat on a Empty Closets website with everyone thinking I fancy one of my (male) housemates. I think your idea about telling a story to let your friends know isn't a terrible plan. I mean, it's nice and casual. If you really build it up to be something massive, they will likely also react in quite a dramatic (albeit probably positive!) way. But if it's more casual it won't be such a big deal! x
