A couple of weeks ago, I started thinking, do I fall for girls or do I fall for guys? I started thinking a lot, like a lot, and the question kept popping into my head. I started to pay attention to my reactions towards others. And the fact that I think I have a crush on my best friend gave me enough to realise. That I indeed fall for girls, that I like girls. But then there was the fact that I know of myself that I generally fall for the person's personallity. So you can imagine that I was a bit confused with myself. But as the time passed by, it just became clearer to me, and I wanted to say to others. Like hey, I'm lesbian. I am not ashamed of it, or scared of other people's reaction. And if it were to me, I would just let it be, at least now I will. But I wanted to say it to someone, to make it official, to make it known. So one night I decided to tell it to my mother, and I was like hey, mom I'm gay. And there was like no reaction, okay she said, and how do you know that? I just do, I replied. And she went on not believing and bringing me down, saying like so you think because you never had a boyfriend or never been with a guy, that you are a lesbian. What kind of remark is that anyway? When you know, you know right? Even my sister was like, we will see if what you say is true. I had a feeling before hand that many wouldn't believe me. Especially my family at home. But is it really necessary that you have to be with a guy first to know if you are indeed a Lesbian, or be with a girl. Can't you just know it from the way you see things and perceive things? Besides all that it hurts, they didn't even had the patience to understand or even listen to me explain. But that is a whole other issue I have with my family
Well, other girls know that they like guys without ever been with one, right? So that's no real argument in my opinion. Or the other way round, if ur mom, just as example, has never been with a girl how does she know she likes guys? Same question... Personally I have never been with a guy nor kissed one. I had some minor crushes ok but it's a whole different business with girls. People that don't have experience with qestioning ones sexuality often have difficulties in understanding. Sometimes they just really don't get it and all you can do is to not waste your energy on that.
Agreeing with CharlsOn. I was in the same boat as you are. Only I didn't discuss it with my family ( it will not go well) and I did talk to my sister and that definitely did not go well. When I told my friends, they asked me "how do you know" and I said I just do. I so wish if there was a test that we could take that will tell us whether we fall under a certain label or not.. something concrete and conclusive. But, in lack of such provision, you only have your gut. Go with your heart. First, try to understand who you are and get to know yourself better. Date whomever you want and see how it goes. When time comes to bringing them home and introducing the person to the family, you can bring up the topic again.
The only reasonable and sensible answer to "But how do you know you are gay?" is "How do you know you are straight?" :eek: The answer to both questions are exactly the same! :wow: When I was young I had to push myself to go out with girls, just to be "normal", going out with a girl is nice but a kiss from a guy feels so right and wonderful. :icon_bigg No amount of going out with someone that you don't "like" will change your sexual orientation, believe me I've tried. :bang: You are getting conflicting messages one set of messages from your family and other messages from your heart! Follow your heart and your family will eventually realize that no matter who you love you are the same wonderful you that you always were. (&&&)
My dad did the same with me: "don't leave women behind, you never know!" and things like that. I was super irritated
This is why I am thinking I want to be in a relationship for a while before I tell anyone. I know I will get the same reaction, "oh hodge, podge. You wouldn't know if you were gay. You won't date women". Well, there is a REASON I don't date women! But people think you're just being emo or something, I guess. "I had a bad day. Dangit, I must be gay" is what they hear, I think.
