(&&&) Hi Guys and Gals of Empty closets! This is my crazy coming out story. I was only 8 years old when I was first coming into crushs. As a late bloomer, my body was already beginning puberty long before I was mentally ready. We had a very well dressed male teacher. He was so cute I often caught myself sometimes even asking if he was Single or married!! hahah. Around 10, I discovered I had my first real crush... On a brainiac boy. He of course ran away from me, and his friends laughed at me. Despite a outer female shell, my inner guy went, why cant I hang out with them. Why am I doomed to play with dolls? At 11, I had to defend and protect my female best friend Rebecca. She was injured and needed help to carry her books and her medical equipment at school. I opted to help her everyday. I quickly grew muscle and girth from the pounds of stuff plus my own everyday. I was labled as lesbian and back then, it was derogatory as hell to say. Plus I knew nothing other then that, it meant I liked females. I said, while I may be her friend, I don't like her that way. I like guys. I was homeschooled til 2009, when I was 15 put back in high school. Freshman year, second semester. I had long blonde hair, but I wore nothing but converse shoes, jeans, and a long sleeve jacket all the time cept for gym class. I hated wearing bras and tried hard to often just avoid the dress code for gym class. It made me lose grade points but I didn't honestly care I was to depressed. at 17, I had a revolution happen! I saw a episode of Degrassi. showing a FTM. Named Adam. I followed his story so intently , I connected! now it all made sense. Im not just Gay, but I am Transgender!! a Man, I really am! For years, I had dreams of being a man, penis envy etc. Now I know theres a term for it. Coming out was going to be hard, My family had 6 sons, and all were cis gender males. I was their only baby girl... I came out to my parents first, tried to begin the transition but feared them being abusive about it, or not respecting it. I chose to go ahead and get engaged to a older man, as a female. This was my life, and I wont get to follow my heart. It is what it is... 8-9 months with this man, I realized I hated sex. how I did it. I wanted to TOP him. Not be below. Not be Fucked like a female. he left me, I was devastated. I got with my now fiancé, we travelled a long way cross the usa. He exposed me to my inner self, totally blowing it off me. He said your like a butterfly, butterfly so free, that you flew away before, but yet here you are. A butterfly, is born sexless. A small baby caterpillar. He said. but as you grow, you encase yourself in a shell. Protected, from weary eye. But someday, you have to exit that shell, And spread your wings wide, How colorful they are. And FLY! And fly I did, I revealed myself to him, and supportive hes been! I now am beginning the transition, without fear. I got his back, hes got mine. Now I ask you, if you are still in your Cacoon, If you are afraid. Look to the open hearted family and friends, And know that, you cannot Fly if you stay in your cacoon forever. That's my story, Now tell me if I inspired you (*hug*)(*hug*)
