Ok so I'm new to EC and this is really my first post so we will see how it goes.... So I sat down my family this weekend and pretty much flat out told them I was gay and it went ok I guess. Now it's just super awkward/quiet whenever I am around any of them and I just really don't feel like I can talk to any of them. My mom has been constantly crying all the time which is sort of freaky, my brother completely accepts it and told me how difficult it must of been that I said this and how it really didn't bother him, my dad is ok with it too I guess he just said that he knows that I am a really "morally correct" person and he just wants me to be careful not to get mixed up with any of the craziness of being gay (whatever that means I guess). While I am glad that I came out to my family it just seems like it is going to be difficult to talk to and relate to these people again. It also seems like an extraordinarily difficult to be public with this info and find someone to hook up with and date...? What can I do to help my family and what are some of the best ways to hook up and meet other gay guys without being a total creep? Any help or response would be greatly appreciated...! Thanks a lot.
Well, first off, welcome to EC! Well, the one of the hardest things is already done. You've told your family, and that is a very hard thing to do for many people. It sounds like you have a great brother. Your dad also sounds like he is okay, but might be a little misinformed about homosexuality. He might benefit from some PFLGAG meterials. This has some links for information for families: http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=539 It also sounds like your mom might benefit from reading some stuff, or learning more about homosexuality. I'm not sure waht she thinks from what you've posted, but it's nothing to cry about. If you want to meet other gay people you could try seeing if there is a GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender) meeting near where you live. This would be a good opportunity to meet other people who are supportive and understand what's going on. I wouldn't say it's specifically for hooking up, but you might gain new friends, or maybe more while you are there.
well basically I think she is just pretty upset about the fact that I am gay and that somehow she has failed as a parent. I think it will help to just give them some time alone for a while to think about things and react I guess...since I am living away at school that should be no problem...I guess I will just go to my University's GLBT meetings and see who I can meet and talk to.
Yeah I think I need to say something like that...I guess I am going to give them a little time to digest everything though before I bring this subject up again.
First welcome to EC and congrats on coming out! I'm really glad that you have the support of your dad and brother. As for your mom I would suggest getting some materials from Becky or you might try looking on the internet but I'm sure Becky would be happy to help you find the kind of materials you are looking for. After you have the materials I would sit down with your mom and talk to her and tell her how you feel and give her the materials. After you have your say let her have hers and listen to what she has to say. Try to stay calm if she says something that offends you and hopefully both of you will come away with a better understanding. I think that with time she will be ok. Try to reassure her that she did nothing wrong as a parent to make you gay and that it's just how you were born. She may ask some difficult questions but if you can answer them it could help. Hope this helps. Good luck. like I said she just needs time to adjust to this new information about you. It can be a huge shock. Sam
I don't agree that you should avoid the subject. You are your parents best educator on this topic. You have lived it and know what its like to be gay. Download those PFLAG materials that biisme suggested and tell your mom that you are willing to answer all her questions as honestly as you can. Try to be patient with your mom and her tears. She's grieving the life that she had envisioned for you. She'll eventually learn that even though your life is different it can still be good.
Welcome to EC! You took one of the most difficult steps to take. You should be proud of it. I agree with the above that you should keep talking to your parents and educate them on the topic and try to answer their questions as best as you can. Give them the time that they need. As Becky mentioned, often parents have their own dreams for their children, and that is what causes your mom to feel this way. Your mom and dad, will eventually learn and adjust.
Ok, thanks everyone for the advice...I looked at those materials and found a couple of books and stuff on my own...I think my parents are coming to visit this weekend so I guess we will try to talk about it then...I guess it is more important to talk about this then try to ignore it... Thanks!
