Last night I came out via letter. I went to my friends while my parents read it. So it started off rocky...they were shocked. I got in the car with my mom and we talked. We talked about how I knew I was gay. Basically, her premise was that I am too. However, she said if I am gay, she would love me no less. We talked about how sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough to make them proud, she was crying and I was. Both my parents were talking intermittently last night, I couldn't hear what they were saying. They woke up at weird times all night and talked. I don't know what to say, so I'm saying nothing. She also asked if I want therapist because it seemed as if I need someone to talk to, which I kind of do with all my school problems and stuff. I said possibly, and she said it won't be a gay therapist nor will it be a Christian therapist (so neither extreme, thank god). What do I do? They think I still have a chance for a girl, they don't want me to jump to conclusions, they don't want my job chances ruined because I'm gay, they want biological grandkids, it's all so conflicting.
My mother said something similar to me. She wants me to do stuff with women before I chose my lifestyle but I already know what i want. I've always known and nothing will change that. If you think you still have a chance with a girl, then do it. Try to be with one. If you're unhappy, then you know what to do. But if you're absolutely sure, and I mean really sure that you're gay then you have nothing to question. You don't have to do what others say because it seems like the right thing to do. Just be you.
