1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I'm so tired.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by kp1832, Oct 23, 2008.

  1. kp1832

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2008
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    the buckle of the bible belt
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I came out to two of my best friends in 2006
    I came out to my other best friends at the end of June.
    I came out to an acquaintance a few weeks ago.
    I came out to another friend a couple weeks ago.
    I came out to my future landlady last week.
    I fully came out to my parents last weekend.
    I came out to my closest cousin this week.
    I came out to a longtime church friend today.

    My friends have (with my permission) outed me to other people in my life including my former band directors, their boyfriends, their parents, their siblings, and their friends. My parents have outed me to their best friends.

    I'm coming out of the closet at an ever-quickening pace. I feel very in over-my-head and I'm scared about my future. I grew up in a very conservative Christian community, and once more of my extended family find out, I know that relationships will be strained.

    I honestly just want to stop. Do I really need to be completely open with everybody?

    I'm pretty scared. Encouragement?
     
  2. Mind Freak

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2008
    Messages:
    635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Maybe you could ask them not to tell anyone else?
    Other than that you'll just have to keep your head up;; and you have a support group so that should make it easier right?
     
  3. riddlerno1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2008
    Messages:
    660
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Remember its what you want that matters, so if people are telling others and its all a bit too quick then let them know. You dont need to be out with everyone, you only have to be out to the people that you want to.
     
  4. Jim1454

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    7,284
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Toronto
    You could close the barn doors now I guess, but it sounds like the horses have already left. (Do I sound really old using expressions like that? Probably. :dry:slight_smile:

    It sounds like the most important people in your life now know, and I haven't heard you say that anyone has reacted very badly. So that's GREAT news! For the not-so-important people in your life... does it really matter what they think? If your parents are OK with it, then to heck with the rest of the family.

    If crazy old Aunt Betty things its a moral sin to be gay, well let her. You know it isn't. And apparently you've already come to the conclusion she's crazy - so who cares what she thinks? :grin:
     
  5. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,870
    Likes Received:
    3,203
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi there! No you don't have to be completely open with everybody. It is your choice as to who you want to come out to. If you feel that it might not be a good idea that your extended family knows because it might strain the relationship, then wait with coming out to them.

    You have made the decision that it is time that the most important people in your life know, and it seems that is has gone very well. There is a possibility that you haven't adjusted fully to being out yet. Within the last couple of weeks you have come out to a number of people, and it will take a little bit of time to get used to it. As you get used to it, you will get to feel more comfortable.

    Remember the most important thing is that you are comfortable with yourself and you know who you are. That's what counts!
     
  6. lordjord96

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2008
    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    milton keynes.
    be who you are and love it find some-one you love and to hold . remember BE WHO YOU ARE!!!
     
  7. No One

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2008
    Messages:
    303
    Likes Received:
    2
    well remember its always your choice but to be completely honest it may not be able to stop completely i mean its like a rumor someone tells someone something and they tell a few people and all those people tell a few people and before you know it people that you never knew know and just like a rumor it may not really calm down until there is no one else to tell and everyone has asked you about it you know. just remember be strong and maybe if you tell those people you told not to tell people anymore it may slow the spread. I hope everything ends up well for you, keep us informed we all want to know what happens. hope this helped
     
  8. Sam

    Sam
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    You only need to be out to those you want to be out to. If you don't want anybody else to know then tell those who know not to tell anybody else. It really is your business and your right to tell or not tell who you choose.

    Congrats on coming out though!

    Remember for the future: tell who you want to tell, don't tell those you don't want to know and do what makes you happy. Good luck.
     
  9. xequar

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2007
    Messages:
    1,684
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Detroit area, Michigan
    If you're as out as you are at this point (congrats, btw :slight_smile: ), then there's not much you can do about people talking. You don't have to make a production of telling every single person you encounter, but at this point, people are going to know and are going to talk and are going to find out.

    Just be you, be honest if they ask, and all parties will be the better for it.