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My coming out story

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by isnessofwhatis, Oct 24, 2008.

  1. isnessofwhatis

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    About a year and a half ago I was feeling sexually frustrated. I was 29 years old and was still a virgin because I never found a guy I wanted to be with. I was just never attracted to anyone. I grew up with the whole "being gay is a sin" fundie view and I bought it hook, line, and sinker. I don't remember exactly how it happened but I realized I was gay. After I came to that realization I reflected back on my life and realized there had been signs all along.

    Life happened and I suppressed my feelings pretty well until 3 months ago. I was given an assignment in my leadership class to work on my sacral chakra. For those of you not familiar with the chakras the sacral chakra is considered your sexual center. As I explored this area of my life the feelings came back stronger than ever. The next month we shared our assignments in class. Different people were given different chakras to work on. I had sent my teacher (also my friend and minister) an e-mail telling her I was struggling with the assignment and she replied back with something along the lines of "Good for you". To many that may seem cold and uncaring but you would have to know her to know what she said was a very good and positive thing. When it came time to share what we had learned from the assignment she had me start first. I read a bunch of stuff, carefully skipping over some parts. After I was done she looked at me and said "You need to continue working on this". For some reason I was very shaken and was not able to eat dinner. After class was done for the weekend I approached my teacher and asked to talk for a bit. We sat in her office and I asked her "Where do I go from here?" I was truely at a loss as to what to do next. She asked me a few questions and I finally said I was attracted to women and possibly men as well. I was so emotional I didn't know what end was up. Two weeks later I had a private session with her and we discussed things further.

    For the next class our assignment was to write a paper on a spiritual leader. I originally wrote my paper on Ben and Jerry (the ice cream guys) but after I read an article on Ray Boltz (a Christian musician I used to listen to) coming out as gay I decided to do another paper. I figured this would be my vehicle for coming out to my classmates (who I knew would be very supportive). I outed myself in the last paragraph. We all read our papers aloud in class and I was a nervous wreck. I had my Ray Boltz paper printed out but I also had my Ben and Jerry's paper still on my laptop. There was this internal battle about which one to read. Finally it came time to read my paper and I admitted to my class that I was struggling with which paper to read. In the end I read the Ray Boltz paper. With my heart racing and emotions at an all time high I could barely read the final paragraph. But I did it!! I cam out to my class (all 5 of us plus 2 teachers)!!!

    Their response was amazing. I got lots of hugs and support. My teacher looked at me with tears in her eyes and said "thank you". I told them that the original paper was about Ben and Jerry and that I was going to bring the single serving versions for everyone. Well, next class my teacher said she was going to throw me a party complete with balloons and Ben and Jerry's ice cream!!! How freaking awesome is that!

    There was a 3rd teacher who was not there and I was planning on e-mailing her a copy of my paper. I wouldn't dream of not telling her. I came out to my class Saturday evening and on Thursday I got a letter from the teacher who was not there. It was so sweet. She let me know that the other teacher told her (which I knew would probably happen) and she said she supported me. I immediately sent her an e-mail thanking her and after a few e-mails back and forth she said she still wanted to read my paper. A week later I was walking home from my friends house and made a little detour and stoped at the center (we don't call ourselves a church) and had a nice chat with her. In the two years I've known her she has been a source of strength and a great sounding board. I now know that no matter what happens when I tell my family she and the other teachers and my classmates will be there to fall back on. I know they will be there in the days and weeks leading up to the "big event" (which I am planning to be around my birthday in January). I know some of my family alread suspects because my sister in law asked me last year if I was gay. I said no because I was not ready to fully accept it yet.

    So, that is my coming out story so far. I am out to 7 people so far.
     
  2. Janvier

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    Congrats !! (!)
    That's truely an amazing coming out story, thank you for sharing :grin:
    I wish you the best of luck on coming out to your family (*hug*)
     
  3. Jim1454

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    Wow! That's a great story. Good for you!
     
  4. Mickey

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    Congratulations! What a great story. Thank you for sharing it.
    Good luck with your parents. I think everything will be alright.

    Mickey
     
  5. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    Thank you so much for sharing that. Well done and good luck and welcome. :grin: (*hug*)
     
  6. Mirko

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    Thanks for sharing your great coming out story! Congratulations! That's awesome!
     
  7. Gerry

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    Congrats on coming out!