First since this is my first post, I'd just like to say hello, and now nice it is to finally be able to talk to people about this So I knew I was different from a young age, but I didn't begin to question my sexuality until my freshman year of high school. Though it wasn't until 11th grade that in the back of my mind I thought I was bi. I didn't really acknowledge it though since I decided I would just focus on girls, and then I could still be normal. The summer before senior year, there were days when I thought I could be gay, then others I reassured myself I wasn't. Then senior year started, and near winter break after walking back to the locker room from gym while talking to my friend(who's one of those guys that likes to jump on you, and tell you to carry him-also very touchy), he put his arm around my waist. My first thought was that I liked it, then immediately shook him off. Walking to my next class I started thinking and realized that for the first time there was a guy I could see myself being in a relationship with. Somehow all of a sudden my feelings were real. All winter break was me bouncing back and forth between gay, and bi. First day back at school I had another epiphany. Although I found some girls very pretty I felt nothing sexual for them at all. A few weeks later and I'm finally able to say "I'm gay" out loud, mean it, and believe it. last wednesday night almost on impulse I texted one of my closest friends that I was gay, not only was she supportive, but she came out to me as bi. Now I've told two people, and I'm just glad that I'm not alone in this anymore. For so long I felt like I was locked up inside my head. I'm not ready to tell my family yet(not that I expect much trouble- except for one of my brothers and my dad) so I think I'll tell some more close friends first, then outside my family I don't care who knows. I'm on my way! Thanks for listening :icon_bigg
Welcome to Empty Closets. Thanks for sharing your experiences thus far. It's wonderful that you have accepted yourself, and are okay with your sexual orientation. Congratulations on having started your coming out journey, and that you feel you are making progress. Hope your coming out journey will continue to go so well for you.
update: so a bit has happened since my first post, after I told my first two friends I decided I wanted to tell my younger (15)sister- but it was really awkward. I told her I wanted to tell her something and for like five minutes she kept saying,"tell me, tell me, I won't tell anyone." Then she started guessing. sister: is it about school me:nope sister: is it about home me:nope sister: is it bad me: depending on your perspective sister: is it different me: umm......yaaa sister: is it about a girl me: nope sister: is it about a boy those words just immediately froze me, and after a few seconds she said, "I think I know what you want to tell me. " After what seemed like forever(but was probably only half a minute) she said "I won't tell anyone, but you should tell mom." Then I told one of my best girl friends, and she was like, I'm so glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me, and was completely supportive. Then I decided I would tell some guy friends, so I told two them during study hall at the library. My first friend was like "really out of all people you decided to tell me? I don't care." then I said, I figured you wouldn't care-thats why I told you. My other friend just said "cool" and was completely fine with it. Then I texted another girl friend. She was like "I'm so happy you feel close enough to me to tell me!!!" So it's been a pretty easy road(except for me awkwardly telling my sister)so far, so glad I have friends who are supportive. I dunno I just feel.....good....
Awesome! Your sister sounds cool, and for the most part the people around you seem supportive! However, chances are not everyone will be supportive. I am Chase, a member of EC. If you ever need to talk, I'd like to become better friends with you. Can you think of anyone who wont be exactly supportive? If so, we can always help you break the ice to them, though I wouldn't rush that. EC is a good community for support, even if there's nothing we can exactly do, I find reading other people's stories often help me feel better.
Coming out is super scary, particularly the first time. You now know you are a brave person! :eusa_clap Glad things are going well for you. The feeling you get when you tell someone and it goes well is really wonderful. :eusa_danc
1st- Jay777: thank you! Mirko: thank you! it's definitely a journey iiimee: thanks for the support! -and you are too right, reading other people's stories really helped me finally decide tell the first person, and yeah my sister and I fight a lot- but we're their for each other when it counts. YermanTom: Oh yeah the first time was definitely the scariest!(even though I pretty much knew she'd be supportive)Just that it's out there. Though I knew she wouldn't tell anyone, just knowing I no longer have complete control over who knows was scary. Also I think telling the first person was kind of my way of officially accepting that I'm gay 2nd-I told my mom!!! Well more accurately I told her I wanted to tell her something, and asked her to guess( she guessed it) Let me tell you, I really wish more people could get the same mother's reaction I got! I have never felt more loved, she was completely accepting. She said things like, "that's nothing to be ashamed of" or, "you know that I'll always love you" and, "that's completely normal, and you are completely normal." I told her who else I told, and that I'd known I liked guys since 8th grade. She replied with "I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone!" I've always been super close with my mom, but now I know I can tell her anything! - Now I just gotta tell my dad, two older brothers, and my best guy friend. (I don't expect too much trouble, except maybe my dad- not that he'll not be supportive I just think he'll need a little time)
That was true for me too Really glad things are going well for you. This is the start of a wonderful life. (!!)