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I came out to my cousin. (long story)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Johnman, May 18, 2007.

  1. Johnman

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    Hey people :grin: You've probably never seen me before. I forgot this website existed until a member here IMed me today. I signed up a whiiile ago.

    But anyway recently I came out to my cousin. He's 14 and I'm 17, and I seriously feel like he's a little brother to me. Him and his brother live in Florida so I rarely get to see them. In fact before they had visited in December, I hadn't seen them for three years.

    At first after seeing them again for the first time in 3 years things were a little bit weird...for maybe a few minutes. Then it was like that 3 year gap hadn't even existed. For some reason despite seeing my cousins who live here in New York allll the time, I've always been closest to the ones who live in Florida even though I don't ever get to see them.

    Anyway I dunno. I could tell that he really liked me but I didn't realize how much (not like that, this story doesn't get creepy I promise XD)

    So anyway after his visit was over (2 weeks here for Christmas) I realllly started to miss him. In a few conversations we had within the following 5 months homosexuality had come up, and he never had a negative thing to say about it. It was really shocking to me that a 14 year old wouldn't be the least bit homophobic, or at least pretend he was to prove his masculinity to me. Maybe I'm stereotyping, but from what I've gathered I feel like a lot of straight people sometimes put on a show so they don't seem gay. Like if a straight guy was okay with gay people, he wouldn't admit that to his friends or they'd accuse him of being gay.

    I think maybe he could tell how comfortable I was with him, so he didn't really care about things like that. What sorta confirms what I said before is that my cousin talks and acts differently around me than he does to his friends or just with other people present.

    So I knew he was okay with gay people but I wanted to know how he'd feel if he were to actually meet a gay person. My friend is a little bit flamboyant so he can kinda tell that he's gay, and I told my cousin that it turns out he was gay and asked if he was okay with that considering we'd all be hanging out when they visit again in the summer.

    First he was just kinda surprised that my friend was gay, but then he said "Well I don't mind, as long as he doesn't hit on me. Lol."

    Grrr...I hate when people say things like that. I need to get it through his head that just because somebody's gay it doesn't mean they're going to hit on everything that has a penis (or a vagina if you're a girl XD). But he really doesn't know any better so I'll give him that.

    Anyway that made me get a better idea of how he might react to me coming out to him. At a point later in time my friend IMed him and was just talking about random things, and the convo kinda went like this:

    "John's my favorite cousin =]"
    "Aw haha. Well he's my favorite person."
    "Mine too...not that I'm GAY or anything lol."

    Aw I really didn't know I was his favorite person. It made me realize that if I came out to him he really couldn't hate me. I don't know... as clear as it was that he'd be okay with me being gay, part of me was still scared he wouldn't be.

    So the other night I was thinking about it, and it was such a huge weight on my shoulders. We were talking on AIM and I was realizing "You know...I could do it right now. I could do it right now and get it over with. Right this second."

    I mentioned it to my friend and she convinced me to go for it. Here's the convo:

    Me: Hey
    Cousin: yo
    Me: Can I ask you something important?
    Cousin: yes you can
    Me: Is anyone else around?
    Cousin: nope
    Me: If there was something different about me, do you think you'd ever stop like...thinking I'm cool?
    Cousin: no...why would i, you're my cousin
    Z Malinco z: :/ Hm
    Cousin: what?
    Me: What if I was like [my gay friend]
    Cousin: then i would accept it, lol
    Me: Really?
    Cousin: family is family
    Cousin: im not gonna hate a family member because of something like that
    Me: That's good to know
    Cousin: why are you asking?
    Me: Because I am
    Cousin: really? i woulda never guessed
    Cousin: lol
    Me: Furreal?
    Cousin: never woulda had a clue
    Cousin: and i also wouldnt get all different because i know you wouldnt try to hit on me or anything lol
    Me: Lol obviously
    Me: that's what I was afraid of though
    Me: that you'd be weird around me
    Cousin: nahhhh no big deal
    Cousin: so am i the only one that knows?
    Me: [friend] and [friend] know. Some people at school know. I guess some people on youtube know
    Cousin: but nobody else in our family
    Lilzboy100: all these people know but not me?!?!?!? lmao
    Me: Lol well it's easier to tell someone who you don't care about
    Me: because if they hate you then it doesn't matter
    Cousin: true that!

    So yeah wow. That went extremely well. People said coming out would bring us closer, and it really has. He talks to me like nothing ever happened. Not in a way that he's not acknowledging that it happened, but just that it's not a big deal at all. I'm really grateful to have someone I'm so close to be so perfectly okay with me being Gay. I dunno if I should come out to his bro though...I'm not sure how he would react. We'll see. They're visiting for nearly the entire summer so there's time for that :]
     
  2. xequar

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    I'm glad to hear your cousin was good with it, and congratulations for telling him! I actually was in a similar boat with my cousin, but when I told him, not only was he ok with it, he actually come out to me, as well. At any rate, this will probably only strengthen your relationship with him. Again, congrats!
     
  3. Jim1454

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    Congrats! And welcome back to EC! Great story.
     
  4. nisomer

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    thats sweet! have u seen him in person yet?
     
  5. Johnman

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    Okay good I was afraid it was so long that nobody was going to read/reply to it XD

    I actually thought he was gay for a while. He was just really open and comfortable around me, and I didn't expect that much from a straight person in general. I think I just made him more comfortable than his friends do so he had no need to prove anything to me.

    Thanks :grin:

    Not since december. December he stayed for two weeks, first time I'd seen him and his bro in 3 years.

    The time before that they were either here a few days for christmas, or they stayed for the entire summer. It was soooo much fun when they were here for the whole summer, and I really regret growing so far apart to the point where we didn't even talk to eachother for so long. And now we're like best friends :]

    They're coming in on the 26th of June and leaving sometime in the middle of August. So I'm excited for that :grin: