After years and years of hiding in the closet and denying my own sexuality to everyone, even myself. I told my brother when we were battling Pokemon together, since we're close in age and I really hoped he'd accept it. His reaction was literally, "Oh. That's cool." and we carried on battling Pokemon. I inadvertently came out to my family whilst applying for a job today (the joys of being broke and unemployed, eh?) and it actually sounds almost cliched, or like a story book plot of my step-gran looking over my shoulder as I put in my sexuality as "gay". (Is it odd that I prefer that term to "lesbian"? Anyway, it was a pretty black and white "straight/gay/other" question. But I digest.) and she told me I'd filled in the wrong one. I think I may have scared her a little when I pointed out that no, I didn't fill in the wrong one. I did get a nice ten-minute lecture from my step-dad who was also in the room that no-one will employ me because of it and that it's just a phase (Except I'm 21 and I've been running from this since I was, what, 14? 15? so it must be one helluva long phase) and that I'm just being stupid and selfish as normal. I'm pretty damn discouraged right now. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's almost a relief being out of the closet, but I feel so scared and sick now that it's in the open. I can't stop shaking. So, all in all, I don't think my coming-out story is entirely positive. I'm just hoping that now it's all over, I can start afresh and just... move on.
There's always this weird part after coming out where it's like "It's not a secret anymore. Now how do I act that I don't have to hide it?" but eventually you get used to it and become more relaxed. But hey! This is a good thing, being out and open with yourself. And don't worry about your dad and that job this. It's complete and utter bullshit.
Hi there! Don't be discouraged. Your step dad's reaction, is a just that, a reaction. Coming out, and saying, 'hey, this is who I am,' took a lot of courage, even though you hadn't planned on coming out to your family. As you have mentioned, you have taken a step that will allow you to start living your life, without having to hide, or without having to watch every word or phrase you say so that no one will catch something that might give you away. Coming out, you made things easier on yourself. I wouldn't worry too much about finding employment. Apply to the opportunities you would like to apply to and take it from there.
^^ Very much what he said. I know how much of a relief it is to finally not have to bear that all by yourself, even if it did come out in a rather unexpected way. I think that you're being out now will open the floor for all sorts of new dimensions in your relationship with your family. Here's to hoping that things become easier for you.
Don't be discouraged. Your step-Dad is incorrect in saying it will ruin employment opportunities. Under the terms of the UK Equality Act, no employer can refuse you a job for being LGBT. If they did, you could sue them. If a prospective employer asks about your sexual orientation, it's actually rather encouraging and you should answer honestly. It means they are monitoring diversity and equality within their organisation and will more than likely make efforts to recruit and retain candidates with protected characteristics. Providing you have the right skill set and interview well, it could even enhance your employment prospects in organisations where specific groups are under-represented. If your step-Dad doesn't know all of this, then I wouldn't put to much emphasis on his other silly comment about it being a phase either. He is clearly mis-informed. So chin up, hold your head high and be proud. Well done on coming out.
