Am 20 years old and i dated a couple of girls but i really never knew why it never worked out i always knew there was something different but didnt wanna believe it but i knew i couldnt change its who i was meant to be i battle to deny i was gay i got really depressed realy sad mad at times i wasnt sure who i was anymore till one day my mom told me i havnt been myself lately and obviously i said no am fine but she insistd something was wrong so she made me go see a councillor and i did and wow she opened up my eyes so much she told i was living for others and it was time to do what makes me happy to live for myself and when i got home that night and was thinkin and thinking and i texted my best friend to come over cause i had something to tell her and she came asap and shes likes whats up and i kept changing the subject but at this point i had already told her it's something important then shes like tell me what is it and it wouldnt come out till she hugged me i was like i dont want anything to chnage between us but am gay her reaction was like woooow what but then shes likes i will always be here for u and when your ready to come outt to ur mom ill b there and it felt like a weight just lefted off my shoulders it felt good to have someone else noo the true person you are now its time to tell my mom i just dont know hw to go about it any suggestions am soo scared to lose the love of my mother :icon_sad::icon_sad:
You might have a look at a few other threads.. there are resources on coming out on EC... many people come out in a letter, there are letters of others available... and you might talk about it with your therapist...
I was in a similar situation but I had a girl that I loved, who loved me, and we had to keep it a secret from my parents. It wasn't hard, because we were at a year-round boarding school and only saw them over christmas and in the summer sometimes. My parents thought that she, two years older than me, was a good friend of mine. A role model. I tried to tell them that she meant more to me. They intercepted it as a "best friend" kind of thing. Finally, I told my younger sibling. They were totally accepting, and great, but they told me I had to tell our parents. One night my parents decided to have a game/challenge night. This is where we take old games from our childhood and morph them into REALLY difficult things. Like intense truth-or-dare. We decided to play two truths and a lie, which was going to be extremely difficult because we'd known each other all our lives. When it was my turn, I steadied my breath, and said smoothly, "I'm gay, I'm gay, and I'm not gay." It took them a minute, but the response was overwhelming and happy. Funny situations can be somewhat easier than serious ones, but you have to make sure they're taken seriously, otherwise you'll have to re-come out to them at a later date. (As I had to with my dad, who thought I was joking)
What some people do is first bring up a subject to check out their attitude to gays and see where it goes from there. No matter how you do it the reaction will depend on the other person. I came out to my brother during an argument about married gay men, I just said "No you are wrong, I know because I'm one of them." He was stunned into silence but accepted me. My point is that how you come out is not that important If she loves you she will always love you. (Don't tell her while she is driving she could crash the car!) Parents, particularly mothers, will always love their children. So more than lightly you will be fine, but some times it may take a little time for her to get over the shock. Check out some of the coming out stories on this site, in 99% of the stories everything works out way better than expected. BTW it's OK and natural to be scared!
Haha thank you guys really the adivse and the stories I actually come out to my sisters already and they were supportive so am more confident in tellling her
