So, after I came out to one of my close friends, he starting freaking out on me saying stuff like 'you're not gay, you like guys, it's not true....etc etc', anyway I was patient and let him do his little rant (he seemed to be more pissed off with himself than with me). Anyway when he was finished and calmed down, he said that he was cool with it and still loved me for who I was. A few weeks later he started telling me about his attraction towards guys and said 'he could never see himself with a girl' and that after I came out he felt the need to. Of course I was fine with it (well duh! haha), however I know he is still in denial and I don't think his dad will be too keen to find out that his son is gay. I don't want him to come out of the closet against his will (that is the last thing I want him to do!) however I can see him breaking down. I try recommending him to sites like this or other support units but he just dismisses them. What do I do? He is getting more and more fed up and I don't want him to be uncomfortable with who he is
I'd say just be there for him and keep yourself approachable (I hope you get what I mean, I don't really know how to explain it). You can't really force anyone to take an advice. You seem like a great friend to have for caring about him this way. Keep up the good work I do think however that, should this situation of him breaking down go on, you should be on the lookout for warning signs of any deep depression, that could lead him to do tragic things.
Thanks Frenchkid98 really appreciate the advice I will be keeping a look out, just hope he gets everything sorted, have a good day
I agree with FrenchKid98, solid advice. The best thing you can do is continue to be a supportive friend like you have been and watch over him. Denial is a beast. He will either find his own way to overcome it, or he won't, he'll go down a different path. It's good that you encouraged him to look at some support resources though, when he's ready he'll know where to find them. It's hard to watch someone you care about struggle especially when it's something they have to learn for themselves. All we can do as friends is be loving and supportive in an open relaxed way that leaves them free to make their own choices. It's the best you can do. I hope things turn out alright for your friend, and that he can get through his denial and learn to accept himself. Best wishes to you both.
Thanks, I saw him today actually and I think he is feeling better with himself (just generally more cheerful) so I hope he's feeling better... that being said, he is a roller coaster of emotions right now so it can go either way with him, thanks for the advice again I really appreciate it
Like the others said, you can't force him to accept himself. But you can let him know that he will always feel comfortable with who he is when he is with you. Tell him he can talk to you about anything and that you'd never break his trust. And tell him "whatever you are, you're still you, and you're awesome." In short, be his friend But you already knew that, because it sounds like you care about him and are sensitive to what he's going through. Just be there for him. No matter how bad it gets for him, it's always better for him to have someone to talk to. Good luck to you both!
