I came out to a close friend tonight. Unfortunately I had to do it through texting because she lives 4 hours away and I don't know when I'll see her next. I just couldn't stand it any longer so I resolved to do it tonight. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month. Tonight. She is one of my closest, dearest and long-time friends. We've known each other since grade school. I don't see her as often as I would like but we've always been close. Doesn't matter how much time we spend apart we're always right back where we started. It's kind of rare to keep childhood friends. So you can understand my nervousness. I was like 80% sure she would be okay with it but I had my doubts, which were fear based. Before I told her my heart was pounding. I was shaking. I had butterflies in my stomach. It was very intense. It went kind of like this. Me: I have something I want to tell you her: Okay, what is it? What's up? me: it may come as a surprise to you, but...I'm gay. her: you're not joking are you? you're always joking I can't tell me: I'm dead serious her: when did you realize? me: about a year ago. I've always known I like girls but I was in denial. I had a lot of fear that kept me trapped, but deep down I knew. I finally learned to accept myself for who I am. her: that's totally understandable, I'm glad you were strong enough to come out and tell me this! I still love you just as much! She went on to tell me that she was happy for me, and it meant a lot to her that I trusted in her and had the courage to tell her. I broke down crying when I saw her reaction. I'm not quite sure why. I wasn't expecting to be that emotional. Maybe it was out of relief, and happiness all at once. I'm not a big crier so now I feel pretty tired. But I'm very glad I told her. After exactly three months of wanting to tell her... I have finally done it. A huge weight has been lifted off my chest tonight. I already feel lighter, calmer, and more at peace than I have in awhile.
