I'm not sure if this is a "coming out" story, but something pretty awesome happened the other day, and I thought it might be helpful to some of you, so I figured I'd share it. But before I say what happened, I have to tell you all about some events that happened last semester: So, first, back in August, before school started, I came out to all three of my roommates. They all had amazing reactions, but the first roommate I came out to had by far the best reaction. And after I came out to him, whenever I felt sad, stressed out, or was just in a bad mood for whatever reason, I could go back and remember what it was like to tell him and how awesome he was when he reacted, and I would immediately feel better. Well, later on, this roommate started showing his true colors. First, he told me that he believes that homosexuality is a mental disorder, he frequently makes fun of the LGBT community, he simply refuses to listen and learn when it comes to LGBT issues, he's yelled at me and told me to just suck up the fact that I'll have to deal with bullshit for being something other than straight, and he's even called me a "faggot" in the past, thinking it was funny. And after all of that, I can no longer go back to that moment when I came out to him and feel better. Instead, I just feel ashamed and disgusted with myself, pissed off, and betrayed. So now, let me tell you about two other guys I met last semester: I was working on a semester-long project with these two guys, who I now consider my friends, and we got along great. I loved working with them, we had similar interests and work ethics, and it got to the point where I looked forward to going to school and working on this project with them; it really didn't feel like added stress to my workload. Well, at two points last semester, the fact that I'm gay came up and I mentioned it to these guys twice, but both times, I wasn't sure if they got it. The conversations we were having at the time were extremely fast-paced and jokes were being shot, rapid-fire, so I wasn't sure if they got it or if they thought I was joking. But either way, I told them, and if they did get it, they took it extremely well. And that brings me to what happened recently: I was talking with one of the guys I worked with last semester, and the fact that I have a homophobic roommate came up in conversation. I just meant for it to be a passing comment and I wasn't expecting this guy to say much about it, but he genuinely seemed upset by the fact that I had a homophobic roommate. First, he confirmed that he did get that I wasn't joking when I told him I was gay prior, and then he asked me how bad this roommate was. And when I told him, he said that my roommate sounds like an asshole, he hopes I get a new roommate next semester, and that, although it sucks for me, he loves the irony of a homophobe like my roommate being paired with a gay guy. Ever since that conversation, my mood's been so much better than it has been lately. Now, I can reflect on this conversation with my friend (and the two times I mentioned to him that I was gay last semester) and immediately feel better, the same way I could reflect on telling my roommate and start feeling better before he showed his true colors. And for the first time, whenever I'm around this friend and the other guy or working with them, the fact that I'm gay doesn't really seem to matter. It doesn't weigh me down, I don't think about it, and I don't feel ashamed or disgusted with myself for it. I feel so lucky to have awesome friends like these two guys and just in general, with regards to coming out, I've been very surprised at how accepting, supportive, and understanding most have been. So, for those of you still in the closet or who've had bad experiences coming out, just hear me out: All it takes is one awesome person and one awesome reaction. You'll start feeling the effects in less than a day and from then on out, things will get a lot easier.
