A work in progress

Hello Everyone! Not sure which forum this is more appropriate for, "Coming Out Stories" or "LGBT Later in Life", but here goes; this is my coming out story, which even at my age is a work in progress.

So, I have been gay for as long as I can remember. In college, I had a brief relationship with one of my fraternity brothers, until his roommate found out. He threatened to out us if I didn't break off the relationship and "choose" to be straight. Not that sexual orientation is a choice, but I was so frightened of being outed that I retreated into that closet, and stayed there for 40 years. I got married, had two kids, house in the suburbs, taught Sunday school, but never lost that attraction to men. I was faithful to my wife, and took care of her in the last few months after she became ill, lost her job, and pretty much became an invalid. She died 6 months ago.

Since then, I have decided that I can finally live my life openly gay, but of course, I needed to come out! At my age, I really don't care what anyone thinks of me, except for my children. I was very apprehensive that they would feel that somehow I had betrayed their mother, or that they might now feel that they couldn't trust me to be truthful with them, etc. etc. Well this week my grown son was in town for a conference, and he stayed with me at the house. I decided that it was now or never, so I told him. His first reaction (with a big smile on his face) was that I had just confirmed what he and his sister had suspected years ago. He told me that he was proud of me. He told me that he thought my commitment to his mother was inspiring. He told me that he was happy for me that I could finally be happy. When I told him how apprehensive I was about coming out to him, he told me that I should have known better. "After all", he said, "you raised me right".

I cried. It was a cathartic moment, which I will always treasure. I still have to come out to my daughter, and I trust that her reaction will be equally supportive. I am planning to visit her this weekend. As the tag line says, I am a work in progress, and the rest will come, but I am so relieved that I've taken a giant step out. :icon_bigg

 

Wow, it appears as though no one here cares enough about my story to even respond! I realize that most people here are younger than I and have a great deal of angst and negative consequences when they come out, so maybe my story just doesn't resonate with anyone. I get it. Affirmation is nice at any age however.

Anyway, I came out to my daughter today, and her responses were almost exactly the same as my son's. What great kids!