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came out over facebook

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Ninagrrl, Mar 10, 2015.

  1. Ninagrrl

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    I have been out to only a few people for 4 months and have been avoiding telling anyone else. Some have been supportive and even weren't surprised but others it has been painful or I have been told that I'm not gay and had no support. I decided today to just suck it up and do it. Yep, just did it and then balled my eyes out. I feel better actually. I haven't had many responses yet to it. I know it is such a public forum and I know others might not be so happy about me coming out the way that I did but I honestly feel like it's the best. I would have been calling people on the phone because most of my relatives live around 3000 miles away. I feel like people have no right to be angry with me (I know some will be, regardless) because this is MY coming out story and I feel I have the right to chose what the best way is for me. Is that selfish?
     
  2. cejuna

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    I think it's great! Sure, Facebook might not be the best place to come out and usually people like to be told personally, but who cares? If that feels good for you, there's nothing wrong with it! :slight_smile: I've been thinking about coming out over Facebook too a couple of times. I hope you get just positive comments!
     
    #2 cejuna, Mar 10, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2015
  3. Asexual Pirate

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    I came out to my close friends over our private group in Facebook while I was 4000 miles away from them. As you said, it's YOUR coming out story. You haven't been selfish in that and your friends and family should feel honoured that you would share this with them. I hope you receive a plethora of positive and supportive responses.
     
  4. CrazyAwkward

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    No, that's not selfish. If that's what felt right to you, that's all that matters. I came out to most of my family and casual acquaintances over facebook. None of them were offended by me coming out that way. I hope you have similar luck. And congratulations, btw :slight_smile:
     
  5. Ninagrrl

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    Thanks.. it is a little surreal. I didn't think it was going to be this big thing for me because I came out to some 4 months ago and did fine, no tears, no real grieving. I think I was in shock and now that it is out there, it is real to me. I've been crying like crazy. I just wish I wasn't going through this alone. More than anything I just wish I had a friend here to hold me so I don't feel so isolated. I'm okay with being out, I don't want to go back in the closet or anything but I feel like I'm saying goodbye to a part of me. Even though it was a fake part of me, it's still a loss. At least grieving is better than denial, suppression and shock.
     
  6. Steele

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    Nope, not selfish at all. Like you said, this is your coming out, and you get to decide how to do it, not other people. Yeah, it might be more comfortable for others if you came out in a different way, but they're not the ones whose entire life is going to change and be affected by it, and they're not the ones who've been struggling and suffering with a weight on their shoulders for a good chunk of their lives. Therefore they don't get a say in how you come out, and it's selfish of them to whine about how you come out.

    Congrats on coming out, I hope it all goes well for you :slight_smile:
     
  7. Ninagrrl

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    Why do I feel like I broke my own heart? My chest feels heavy and I can't stop crying. I was fine for a while but then it just hit me. This is what I want so why do I feel rejected? I'm nit confused about coming out, just confused as to why it hurts so much like someone died?
     
  8. BlueLion

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    It's not selfish at all. You have the right to do whatever you want with your life. If it was easier for you to come out over Facebook, then it's right.

    You've made an important step forward which will change your life for good. That's why you feel so emotional.