Truth or Dare: Coming Out at Overnight Camp

I have gone to this horseback riding overnight camp for three summers. It may be the only place where people don't assume, to some degree, that I am a lesbian or bi because I dress and act much more masculine than other girls. This is because everyone dresses pretty similarly at camp. Between barn chores and horseback riding, the camp is pretty exhausting and people just dress practically. People don't often act very girly during the day because they are mucking out stalls and riding horses. Because of this, I am not as obviously different as I am at school.

This past summer, when I came to camp, I did not know any of the people in my cabin. They had all been there in the previous session, so they already knew each other. They were very friendly and welcoming to me. There was this one loud girl who talked a lot. She often joked like "Ooo. What if so-and-so is a lesbian..." She was not being serious, and I was not at all offended.

One night, we were playing truth or dare. I was already all cozy in my sleeping bag, and did not feel like getting up to do a dare, so when it was my turn, I chose truth. I got the question, "Who was your first crush?" I really didn't feel like lying about my sexual orientation. I had lied about it at school and had hated how the lying made me feel. At the same time, I had never come out to anyone except for my best friend who now identifies as trans male and had already come out as non-straight to me. I lied that I had never had a crush, but I was 16 years old and no one bought it. I just sat there, completely still, trying to convince myself to tell the truth. Everyone else just stared at me silently.

It was awkward. To fill the silence, the loud girl nervously joked, "What if it's a GIRL?" I few seconds later, I said, "It is a girl." She was just like, "Oh." More awkward silence ensued. Some of the other girls tried to justify it by saying that one crush on a girl doesn't necessarily imply anything about my sexual orientation. She then went on all about how one of her two good friends at home was a gay guy. She talked for a while about her two friends, the gay guy and the model. It was very awkward.

After the whole incident, thankfully, the people in my cabin did not treat me very differently. The one girl occasionally would mention her gay friend, but she did not seem to be too uncomfortable around me, as was the case at the very conservative school I had gone to for 12 years (Pre-K to 10th grade). She just seemed uncomfortable with having made the jokes she had, around me. After camp ended, she friended me on Facebook.

And that is the story of my coming out, more or less, at overnight camp.

 

Thanks! At the moment I am not completely out. I think that a lot of people at school have their suspicions, and I might have been caught staring a few awkward times, but no one at my new school has asked. I am thinking of joining GSA next year.

 

:lol: I know, right?