Came Out to My Sister

I am currently on Spring Break in Hawaii. I am staying with my sister at our aunt and uncle's home. On Monday morning my aunt and uncle were both at work so it was just my sister and me at the house, watching TV. I had wanted to tell her the night before while we were out on a jog and walk around the neighborhood, but I either couldn't come up with the courage or find the right time to say it.

So while we were sitting on the couch I started talking about how Mom is obsessed with having grandchildren and none of her kids were making any serious progress toward that. As I hoped it would, this steered the conversation toward relationships. She talked about her dating experiences briefly then asked me, "What about you?"

It was exactly how I hoped the conservation would flow. I looked at her and confidently said, "I like guys."

She responded with, "Really! How cute!", in a genuine manner and asked me if I had ever acted on it.

I explained my experiences and felt the need to ask her if she was surprised by what I had told her.

She said she wasn't really surprised but in some ways she was. She kind of suspected something because I had never been in any relationships with girls and seemed to have no desire to do so. However she was surprised that I liked guys. I guess I must be a fairly decent actor.

It was a huge relief to tell her. I can definitely be more open with her now and I don't have to worry so much about what I say around her. Monday afternoon we hiked Diamond Head and on the way down the trail I was texting a guy I have the world's largest crush on. My sister saw me totally engrossed in my phone instead of the beautiful scenery around us. She called me out for not taking in the views but it my mind I was picturing something (someone, rather) far more beautiful to me. In the truck on the way home she told me she was jealous of me. She said, "I recognize that look. That's how someone looks when they are talking to someone they really like. I miss that feeling" We later talked about how she actually went to gay clubs with her gay friends in college quite a bit. She seems to be totally accepting.

It was a very positive experience telling my youngest sister that I like guys. I still haven't told my other two sisters, but I expect them to have similar reactions. Regardless, I have someone on my side who loves and supports me. I am a little worried about telling my parents. My parents are conservative Catholics so it may take some time for them to warm up to the idea. My mom has openly stated her disapproval of homosexuality and my dad seems to be pretty homophobic. Fortunately, I am confident that they love me enough to not shut me out of their lives.

I was careful to tell my sister "I like guys" instead of "I'm gay". I'm not claiming that I am bisexual but at the same time I am not closing the door to relationships with women. I don't want to feel constrained to a label but I want to tell my family what I know, and I know that I like guys. If I found a woman that I was romantically and sexually attracted to I would pursue a relationship with her, but for now that doesn't seem likely. I have accepted that I am attracted to guys, I am pursuing relationships with guys, and I am as happy as ever.

Thank you for reading this lengthy story. I hope that everyone's future coming outs can be as positive as this one or better.