ok, so this happend few months ago and it was really stupid. my sister and mom discovered like gay websites and u know(dirty little secrets in computer) so they were asking why i would do that so i told them that i maybe gay. and my sister was kinda fine with it but my mom just flipped and it was crazy, like her reaction really scared me. so afraid that she's gonna not love me anymore, i told her that i actually may be bisexual and that it might be phase. so they're like "oh u know it, really might be phase u should totally wait " and all that. so later, like several times my mom asked me about my sexuality after that incident, and now i can't tell her that i'm gay cuz after i saw her crazy reaction, i don't think i can ever come out to my parents! so i'm straight again and they're all happy about that but i feel like i'm lying to myself which bugs me so much!!! aarrgh
awww, I'm sorry. (*hug*) What exactly was her reaction? You say she went crazy, but what specifically was she upset about? Was she mininformed about homosexuality, or does she have religious reasons for being against it, or something else...?
Oh, that sucks!(*hug*) Was she upset that you were gay, or was it the whole thing with the websites? You said your sister was okay with it. Try talking to her. There's no good in denying who you are to your family and you, and I'm sure it would be easy to talk things through with your sister, to just try to get a handle on your thoughts. We're here for you.(&&&)
Well tell her it was a "phase" is not so good. Parents tend to think this anyway and if it comes from your mouth, that makes her even more confused.
Now that they know you shouldn't go back to hiding and lie to yourself and built inner homophobia. You are who you are and you can't just accomodate them and change yourself on temporary basis. I think you should go to her and tell her that you are gay and give here time and space to think about it. She can go talk to a counsellor and you can provide her information too, sexuality is dynamic and it's not a fixed identity. Provide her info regarding homosexuality, I think many people have homophobia because of lack of knowledge of human sexuality and many other reasons. this is something that you may all have to work together. You can book a family counselling, that maybe an option...I hope you feel better and have courage to talk to her again.
Your mother probably wants you to be happy. The thought of your being gay will awaken fears that you will not give her grand-children, you will die of aids and go to hell, you will be molesting kids and all the other #### that the popular media like to place on gay men. Hiding will make you miserable and, one day, she will find out. You cannot go into hiding your whole life. When she finds out, after this, she will be even more hurt that you lied to her. If you are sure, you need to let her know - at a quiet time, a time when she is ready to listen. If you are not sure, tell her that you are struggling with this and need her support.
Whooooooooo, Asian moms. Most tend not to accept at first, but after a while she should row used to the idea. My mom was hesitant at first but when she saw my (white) dad accept me she was fine with it, too.
I know what you mean, I'm terrified of telling my parents, but you probably shouldn't confuse her being coming out and then saying you're not. It may be harder to come out to them farther down the line. My mom is a super conservative Asian mom too. The stuff she says about gays and prop 8 depresses me and makes me not want to come out to them. Luckily my dad, brother and sister in law are much more open minded. Just remember, it may seem to make them happy, but this is your life, if you're not happy then it's not worth it. That said, I'm not sure how old you are, but if you think coming out to them completely may jeopardize your relationship with them and you are still dependent on them wait until you are ready and be safe. We're here for you!
I hope this all turns out ok for you! I would say that now she has heard it once, it is in her mind and she most probably still wonders if you are gay. Maybe over time she will accept it and might even ask you about it!! Good luck!
omg thats the saddest thing ever!:tears: I acn't imagen how hard that must have been on you.... oh no I said some harsh words on another page I'm sorry I didn't realize your situation(*hug*) sorry *sad face*
That reminds me of when my brother found out i was gay he went nuts and i freaked out by his reaction and said i was only jokeing. But i had to tell the truth or id just feel alot worse than i did when no one knew and cause i was so freaked out by his reaction the first time i asked my best friend if she would do it for me. :S My brother came to terms with it and knows that i havent really changed id just rather sleep guys rather than girls. You need to be truthful with your mother her reaction will be bad but she will come to terms with it and if she loves you she will live to deal with it there are websites for parents to read so they understand it alot better. Do it in your own time though dont let anyone rush you into it. Maybe you should tell someone else and then you will have some support.
