My coming out experience

My coming out story. (tl;dr scroll down to the colored text)​

I came out to my brother on the Nineteenth of March, 2015. It was hard, but I did it via text message. I sent him the link to "Coming out- Official Video" by Ally Hills.
He took it pretty well. He was pretty cool with it. Well, my parents were a different story..

On the Twenty-Eighth or March, 2015, I came out to my parents. Conveniently, it was the Saturday of my friends birthday party. The night before, I wrote a letter to my parents. I wrote down some stuff for my brother to tell them while I was gone.

Anyways, my friend and I were walking around the mall. My brother texted me that he gave them the letter and they read it. He said my dad was cool and my mom was shocked, as expected. My mom and I have a past full of abuse I rather not talk about. My dad texted me saying he was proud of me. My mom said she was proud too. That made me happy to know they didn't totally flip. I come from a fairly liberal background which helped.

After a few hours which felt like an eternity, my dad finally came to pick me up. It was late at night, and I was talking to him. He was saying that he was very proud, and happy that I was brave enough to come out. We finally got home, and I made it clear I didn't want to talk about it. I came in to say goodnight to my mom, and she conveniently misgendered me on purpose. I ignored it and corrected her and walked to my room.

The next day, I was gonna be dropped off at another friends house. As I was eating breakfast, my mom was acting very strange towards me. She was avoiding making facial contact, and speaking to me. I brushed it off as her just being weird.

In the car my dad and I were talking. He was saying that he'll defend me, and he was totally supportive. I was dropped off and freaking out for most of the time at my friends. I had him pick me up early because I felt like I was about to have a panic attack because I had no idea how my mother would feel about it. She's hurt me a lot in the past, she's done a lot of emotional and mental damage to me.

I got home, and I decided to talk to my parents. I stated in my letter that I would talk to them about this when I was ready to. I sat them down in their bedroom and started talking.

"So, I would just like to say your support means everything to me and thank you so much for taking it so well-"

My mom cut me off.

"Well how do you know you're gay?" she snarled like it was a forbidden word or something.

"Well, how do you know you're straight?" I looked her straight in the eye

"Well, because I've had experiences with men and been attracted to-" I cut her off

"How do you know I haven't been attracted to girls?"

She glared at me like I was a random stranger. You could see the disappointment in her eyes.

"Have you been?"

"Yes."

My dad looked at me and started talking. "L, we support you so much, and I want you to know I love you no matter what-"


"But, but you're so young! Maybe you're just confused! How do you know you just haven't found the right guy?!"

Every word my mom said hit me like a bullet.

The room was dead silent. I was choking on my words.

"Mom, I didn't just recently figure this out. I know myself, and I am sure about this." By then, I was shaking and my voice was cracking.

"Maybe you'll come around and you'll end up liking guys. Nothing changes-"

My dad glared at her.

"Also, what's this gender BS? Do you want to see a therapist about all this?" my mom added to her own comment.

"It's not BS." I whisper choking on my words. I turned around and started walking towards the door

"But isn't it invalid? It doesn't exist. You'll always be my little girl-"

I slammed the door. I couldn't take it. I went to my bedroom and locked myself in it. I texted my brother what happened, and he said not to listen to her. It's not that easy when your own mother says those horrible things to you.


Later that day, my dad took me out. I talked about it with him, and he said he supported me all the way. It felt good to know someone supported me.

Every time I corrected my mom, she'd glare at me. Like she was disappointed in me, or pissed off at me. That friday, we were at a dinner. Whenever I corrected my mom and we were around people she'd glare at me and ignore me. She would introduce me as my birth-name and use the wrong pronouns.

Then the next day, things took a big turn.
My mom wanted to spend time with me, so we decided on watching "The Ring." I turned on the TV and she turned to look at me. "Why do you think you're gay?"

"Mother. I am gay."

"Did your friends influence you? Why do you think this?" She was snarling at me.

"Mom, none of my friends have 'influenced' me."

"Well, why do you think this?"

"Because I like girls!"

"What if you just haven't found the right boy?"

"..Mother, I will not be around boys. I like girls."

"Are you having like..sexual urges towards girls?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I blurted back to her.

She grabbed me by the arm and said right in my ear "What's making you think that you're-" she hesitated. "Gay?" I ignored her. I went into the bathroom and texted my dad to come home. He said he'd be home as soon as possible. She suddenly acted like nothing happened. She proceeded to watch the movie. Being the annoying person I am, I started making comments like "you know the girl? Now she's like really attractive," and stuff like that.

One night at dinner, she used the wrong name and pronouns. My brother and myself corrected her. "Can't we just go back to the old way?" She whispered. We all looked at her. "Will you just stop it?" my dad hissed at her.

As the days and weeks has passed on, I continue to deal with this situation. I'm currently seeing a therapist about this, and my dad, my brother, and my friends continue to be very supportive.

Coming out is not an easy process. Not everyone will respond positively, it won't be all rainbows in unicorns. Not everyone comes home to an accepting family.

But, no matter what anyone ways, your gender and sexuality will always be valid. You will always be valid no matter what. At end of the day, there will always be someone that supports you all the way. I support you all the way. You are valid, and always will be valid.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Feel free to message me at any time. I'm always here for you to talk to, even if you just feel like talking, or need advice. You are valid, and don't let anyone else tell you different. -L

 

Thank you

 

Thank you .

And yes, sadly she does. She's always been verbally, and emotionally abusive to myself and my brother sadly. She's adjusted a little bit, and I'm currently seeing an LGBTQIA+ therapist. I've only be out for a few weeks, but otherwise my friends continue to support me

 

Thank you so much, Patrick

 

Thank you so much for the support

 

Thank you so much . Haha yeah, I love Ally Hills. She's great.

 

Thanks again everyone for the support <3

 

Thank you everyone that took the time to read this <3

 

*internet hug*

 

I hope this helped some of you guys

 

Thank you