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Straight friend

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by tm74, Nov 26, 2008.

  1. tm74

    tm74 Guest

    I'm currently considering whether or not to come out to another friend - he's coming down for the weekend (we live a hundred miles or so apart) - I'm just not sure how to go about telling him...

    Will probably see if the conversation drifts into "relationship" or "dating" territory and if it does, just let it slip...

    Anyone got any advice - all the other people who know (well, both of them) are gay - this will be my first coming out to someone straight.
     
  2. Absentminded

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    That's not a bad way to come out, I've used it a few times. I did the same thing to come out to my extended family.
     
  3. EM68

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    I am sort of in that situation also. I am planning to come out to my best friend the next time I see him. I know that he will be okay with it, but its still will be awkward. He will be the first person I come out to.
     
  4. Peter

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    Watch out for his reaction if you tell him when he is coming to spend the week-end with you. Straight guys can feel trapped. I would recommend that you tell him early during the day rather than before going to bed, he could misunderstand your intentions.
     
  5. Jesse Jinx

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    The easiest way to come out, (at least in my experience) is to slip it out casually in conversation like it's no big deal. If you sit down with a serious "Theres something I need to tell you" it's a lot easier for them to have a negative reaction. If it's casual, it makes them seem like the jerk if they freak and get serious about it.

    Just kinda start a conversation about politics or something of that nature, gague their reaction, and slip it out if you feel comfortable.

    Best of luck. Can't wait to hear how it turns out! :grin:
     
  6. tm74

    tm74 Guest

    Peter - I don't think it'll be a problem with misunderstood messages - he'll be sleeping in my spare room - those kind of conversations tend to be later in the evening - I may even save it for the final morning before he heads off...

    EM68 - sounds very similar, although I only see him a few times a year, he's one of my closest straight friends, and I'm sure he won't be scared off - I'm just nervous I guess.

    Thanks everyone.
     
  7. tm74

    tm74 Guest

    Thanks again for the support - I would report on how it went, but as his car broke down 100 miles away (in an apparently terminal way) - he's been taken home with his car on the back of a tow-truck, rather than being towed here and not having a way to get home.
     
  8. EM68

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    Sorry to hear that. Hopefully you can see him soon and talk to him. Good Luck!
     
  9. tm74

    tm74 Guest

    Well, I did tell him in the end - but over an email chat. Unfortunately off the back of some other stuff that's going badly wrong at the moment... I think i inadvertantly caused some damage to another friendship along the way.

    I won't go into details as to what happened - suffice to say, my ongoing depression issues reared their heads again...

    Currently they're not talking to me. I've think I've lost 2 very special people to me. I've apologised all I can, but now it's up to them.
     
  10. Paul_UK

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    (*hug*) I'm so sorry to hear about that. Maybe it's just shock and they will come around in time?
     
  11. beckyg

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    Oh no, I hope he comes around. Maybe he's just stressed out because of the car and hasn't had time to deal with his emotions around your coming out.
     
  12. tm74

    tm74 Guest

    OK - I seem to have given a mixed story here - the guy with the car problem is not the same person who I had the argument with... The guy with the car is fine with me being gay and there's no problem there. The argument was with a different person.

    Sorry for the confusion. I was pretty emotional when I wrote that and it didn't kinda come out right.
     
  13. george678

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    Ok good luck and well done.
     
  14. ferrokahn

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    well i'm glad it worked out.
     
  15. summersforecast

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    Good luck to you. Your very brave for comming out to him. Two of my best friends are straight but i don't think I can tell them just yet.
     
  16. punkrocker99

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    Whooo Hooooo!!!!