If I could go back and re-do it, I would. I always tried to drop hints when I was younger that I was trans. I could always ask to be the girl when playing house, dressed up in mom's dresses/heels, and actually insisted once that I was a "good girl" when my parents said "good boy" to me. However, nothing ever came of it because back then, it wasn't as widely known as it is now (at least, not for me). * A side note, my parents divorced when I was 16 - this is important later on. Also, the divorce did not go well - both my parents hate each other with a passion and don't speak at all to each other. Fast forward 14-15 years (22 years old), and I came out to my family (mostly mom, dad, and brother). My mom said she supported me, and even took me shopping. However, I could see the hurt in her eyes and felt really guilty and selfish about it all. A few months later, I told her it was just a phase and that I was over it. I kept my feelings bottled up inside for another 8 years, until in August of 2014, I lost control and couldn't stand being unhappy anymore. I came out to a close friend, and she was happy for me. I then wrote a letter to my mom and left it on the kitchen bar for her. I told her that I was sorry, that this wasn't a phase, and no matter how much I tried to get over it, I never would. I told her that I've always felt like a girl, and told her stories from my childhood about dressing up or playing house (she doesn't remember any of it). She seemed to take it better this time around, though I still think I see a hint of disappointment in her eyes (she denies feeling that way). I then started coming out in spurts to other friends, family, and co-workers. 8 1/2 months later, and I'm on hormones, have legally changed my name and gender marker on all documents except my birth certificate (NC laws suck!), and have been living full-time for about 3 months. By the way, my dad disowned me and flipped his lid when I told him this time around. He refuses to acknowledge he has a daughter, calls me a "he-she" behind my back, and makes derogatory remarks/questions ("So what, are you gay or something?", "You'll never be a woman", "God made you male and he doesn't make mistakes", etc). I actually don't care what he thinks - he's always been an asshole and his actions here just solidify that point. If I could do it all over again, I definitely would have stuck to my guns back when I was 8. My only regret is that I didn't start earlier - however I'm well on my way! :icon_bigg
