I just came out to my parents yesterday. What happened was I had an...issue that day which I won't go into detail, and after we talked about it and when my father was asleep, I was talking to my mum and I decided to tell her I was bi. I lead it like this: "I got something to tell you but I just wanna know, what do you think of gay people?" Not a great way to lead into things, but it's really hard to find an opening. Her response? "Oh no!" But I told her I was Bi and even then, the mood from support over what happened that day changed quickly to not liking the news well. During the entire time I was trying to explain things with her until I told my Dad, she said phrases like, "Don't you just want to be with women?" and stuff like that. It was obvious that she didn't like the news. I told my dad after he woke up, and he seemed pretty much okay with it, even telling me to practice safe sex. Skip to today, and I tried to see if I can go see a therapist for something that was unrelated to my sexuality. Now, when I came home, and told my folks that I didn't talk to the man due to the guy not being there, they thought I was also trying to see him to discuss about my sexuality. This upset me, and my mum was like "Well don't you rather be with one person?" and even use the "You may be confused" statement. My father even chimed in thinking that basically I'll have relationship problems down the road as people will think that I'll have commitment issues or whatever. Also, he thinks that despite that the world is more open and accepting, things will still be difficult for me and it won't work out; plus even though I told him all my past girlfriends knew I am Bi and I was cool with it, he stated that "They probably thought otherwise" or something. I'm pretty much a little annoyed right now, as this is so easy to understand. I have to deal with this now for while I go back to school for two years and who knows how long it'll take me to move out. I'm really starting to wish I kept quiet.
Bi and pansexual men have it pretty hard in our society since I believe it to be the most invalidated form of male sexuality. You either get "You're gay in denial" or "That's gross, just stick to women". It's pretty horrible either way and I'm sorry you had similar experiences of your Mom believing such horrible stereotypes.
Oh gosh, I am so sorry they did not understand such a simple statement: I'm bi, please accept me as parents! So disappointing, on them. But congrats however on bravely coming out anyway! You deserve an applause for that much. :eusa_clap I have doubts too lately, coming out as bi.. Everything just seems awkward now and nobody talks about it. A depressing part of our society right now, we can't celebrate this equal ability to love. :/ I hope your family comes around, you deserve better! I hope they don't stop you from feeling proud about yourself for doing something brave and healthy for yourself despite their issues. (*hug*)
Congrats on coming out Being bi/pan doesn't make you any less of a person, and I really hope you can convince your parents of that.
I went through the same thing last year. You shouldn't let your parents reactions affect you so much. I know that's extremely hard to do. You told them something very personal and that takes courage. Just remember if they continue to respond in a negative way, it's on them. THEIR issue, not yours. You came out! (!)
Keep in mind that you've been thinking about and processing all of this for weeks or months or longer; it's completely new to your parents. So they're going through the stages of loss (denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance.) Give them time, and I think you'll find they come around. It sounds like they're already experiencing the bargaining stage, which is good. I think if you can be a bit patient with them, they'll come around to being fully supportive.
I think it's encouraging that your father lectured you on safe sex. I would take that to heart, and sort of take up his banner, on that. It's a sensible, intelligent way for a parent to vent his instinctive need to protect you. Maybe try to relate your consciousness of STI's, such as discussing AIDS charities and things like that. Your poor mom, though...oh, the poor lady, I feel bad for her. It sounds like she took it hard. I hope she feels better! Don't worry. From the sound of it, this is a good coming out. The scary ones are the ones where they go silent and voice facile acceptance and don't really engage the topic except for denial and other stuff. If you read the stories on here, sometimes that can really deteriorate baaaaad. Your parents, on the other hand, are actually getting their feelings out, engaging, and behaving like adults. Good for them. That's a lot more grown-up than other possible reactions. If I'm right, then I think you'll feel proud of them, someday.
This is why I ignore my mom whenever she tries to talk me out of being with my girlfriend. She always says something annoying and says that I'm confused or whatever. But I'm pretty sure that she KNOWS that I love women. She also knows that I have sex with women. She's in denial, and it gets so annoying. I've been out about my sexuality for years but they keep trying to change me. I'm just glad that my stepmom is bisexual. That really helps me out because I have someone to back me up.
from what iv heard you dad is a really nice and supportive guy that just wants the best for you. and your mum is is a bit ignorant on the situation. ill give it time for them to understand.
