I was visiting my Nan in hospital last week, and she asked why my friend Emma (my ex) doesn’t visit with me anymore, I explained to her that she was in the TA and had been called up and was away with the Army, but we were no longer as close as we used to be so she may not want to visit when she comes home. So she sat and thought about this for a little bit and then said, “That’s a shame, you two make a lovely couple.” I was completely gob smacked, I had no idea that she knew I was gay and didn’t know what to say to her. A couple of minutes passed and she said, “You Know I’ll always love you no matter what choices you make in life, I may be 87 years old, and not understand much about the modern world, but, that girl made you happy, happier than I’ve seen you in a long time, don’t throw that away.” The rest of the week I had to work late and was going on my Christmas night out on the Friday and was going to a friends gig on the Saturday night so when I was leaving I told her I’d see her Sunday and she made me promise to try and work it out with Emma. By the time I got home I’d decided that was Nan’s way of saying she’s fine with me being gay and that I was ready to tell the world and his dog, starting with my family some time over the Christmas Holiday. The Saturday night came and I went to the gig with a couple of my friends and the band had just started when I felt my mobile go off in my pocket. It was my brother, he just said “come to the hospital Nan’s Gone” confused I asked what he meant, I assumed she’d wandered off the ward and got lost or something, he replied, “ She’s Died, Come say goodbye” Now I’m stuck in limbo land, don’t know weather to carry on with my plan, or weather to leave it for a while. In my heart I can hear her saying “be brave and go for it, I’ve got your back, send anyone that’s got a problem with it to me and I’ll put them in their place” but my head is saying that they’ve all got enough on their plates, without me adding to it. My other problem is that I haven’t been able to bring myself to pick up the phone and tell Emma, she had grown so close to Nan.
(*hug*) Sorry for your loss. You can take some comfort knowing she told you how she felt before she passed! As for coming out, I'd say it depends on your family's reaction and how they are feeling right now! I'm on both sides of the fence here...one the one hand it might make it easier on you if you just slip it into a conversation about your nan while remembering fond memories. But on the other hand, it does get stressful this time of year and it might cause people to say things they don't mean. Sorry I can't be more helpful
I would hold it off in my opinion with the death and everything thats horrible -hugs-. But she was a smart woman in my opinion for that. But I would tell your ex of that if she was close to your nana. It seems the right thing to do.
I'm sorry for your loss and want you to know we're here for you if you need us. (&&&) I would put off telling people about anything until after the services. A death in the family is a terrbile thing and take some time. I would however call Emma and tell her what happened. I think she'd like to know, and even as your ex, it might bring you two closer again or what not. Wish I could be more help. Stay strong.
